p.s

I almost forgot!!

Everyone should head over to Emily’s blog to check out her amazing 12 days of christmas giveaway. Deadline to enter is midnight tonight!! Good luck!! Im crossing my fingers

xx

Hittin’ the Books..

So with one full day of studying under my belt, I am feeling a little bit better for my exam on Tuesday.

Doesn’t mean I wont be right back there tomorrow to do it all over again. I need to get as much cognitive knowledge as I can get!!

When I was able to get my head out of the books for air I realised it was lunch time and quickly fueled:

I forgot to photograph (as is my new styles lately) so enjoy improv photos:

6″ whole wheat sub with turkey, mozzarella, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and sweet onion sauce, I combo’d it up with some harvest cheddar sun ships and a small chocolate milk

I studied and studied until about 5. I actually realy enjoy cognitive psych. It has a lot to do with attention, perception and memory. Now if only I could somehow use all that to keep my attention on the books, perceive it correctly and somehow memorize all those terms…hmmm…

I kept at it until about 5, when I decided to call it a day. My dad was kind enough to pick me up from the library cause we had plans to go to a christmas tree store/farm/outlet (?) and pick up the tree!! However, once we got there it had JUST closed.

We were sad yes, but we will try again tomorrow. We will have some christmas cheer yet!

On the drive back, we stopped for gas and I decided to peer into the health store next to the gas stop. SOOO happy I did that cause I came out with this jem!!

delicious and nutritious

Peanut butter and Jelly LaraBar!!!

I have seen this bar all over the blogs and have been wanting to try it!! But seeing as I am up here in Canada, I assumed I would have to wait another year for it to show up in the great north. Happily I was wrong.

I picked it up, along with a tetley tea drink, and excitedly rushed back to the car to enjoy on the way home.

Review: Ahh-freaking-mazing. My favourite LaraBar yet. It literally tasted like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The texture was just like any other larabar, soft, chewy and dense. Loves it. I am defs gonna go back tomorrow and stock up!!

oh and the tea drink was legit too

Once we finally got home I was sooooooo drained. Its crazy the energy that studying can take out of you, and your brain. So I retreated to my room to watch some TV and read some blogs. Perfect remedy for a tired mind.

My mom was kind enough to whip up a favourite of mine for dinner. The good eats just kept a comin’

Broiled Teriyaki Glazed Salmon, with sweet potato slices, steamed veggies, and a brewski for all my hard work

oo..and you see that dollop of ketchup. Yeah, more like x3.

I enjoyed my dinner over an episode of “Criminal Minds”. Such an aamaazing show, but also kinda messed up. My brother thinks there is something wrong with me for loving crime shows, and I was beginning to think so to. But after getting lots of reassurance from all my friends that they watch and love Criminal Minds as well, I felt a little less crazy.

What is it about crime shows though that is sooo good? Anyone else here a Criminal Minds, Law and Order (SVU is my fav ) or Without a Trace fan?

After some TV surfing, I hit the hay, but had sooo much trouble falling asleep. I was tossing and turning until like 4am this morning!! Craziness. I think I may need to look into some sleep medication, cause this has been happening like every night, and its making me super drowsy/wonky all dayy long – which is not so hot when you are studying for exams.

Somehow I woke up at 9am with virtually no sleep – and my stomach was grrooowwwlin’ So I fixed the perfect breakfast to hit the spot.

1 pack instant maple brown sugar quaker oatmeal, 1/2 cup vanilla almond milk in the oats, 1/2 on the side. 1 sliced naner, a bit of vanilla extract, salt, cinnamon and some WCW.

Sooooo satisfying. Gotta love them oats. I have however never made my own stove top oats. I kinda wanna try soooon.

Is it hard to do? Any reccomendations before I take the leap?

Alright girls, I gotta go for round 2 of mission christmas tree.

Hope you all have a lovely sunday! xx

Love me, love me

TGI Friday

I am in need of some serious weekend relaxation, unfortunatley that will have to wait till next weekend

I have my winter exam in Cognitive Psychology next Tuesday, hence this weekend will be spent studying my ass off relaxing at the library.

Thank goodness for this beauty that adds some joy to my life daily

A picture of my advent calender, as promised. Loves it.

Another thing which has been bringing me joy lately is Yoga. Now that I have reached a healthy weight, I am slowly reintroducing exercise. And I mean slowly. So for now I am taking a yoga class at my neighbourhood gym twice a week, and am LOVING IT! And its actually with the same woman who did my private lessons before

SO before heading off to my yoga sesh yesterday,I fueled properly

Just a quick note, that I am not going to be posting all my eats everyday. I may do it now and again, but I seriosly am still so out of the habit of food photographing, that I just always forget!! And I also dont want to photograph everything cause I think that may be a bit of a trigger to food obsess. So yes, here we go

3/4 cup of corn bran squares cereal with vanilla soy milk, 1 pc whole wheat toast spread with 1 tbsp WCW, and a banana, 1/2 on the toast, 1/2 in the cereal.

ooo and obvi some Javaaaa.

This is such a great breakfast…I had to stop myself from devouring to take the pictures (hence bite out of toast)

This kept me satisfied and strong all throughout my wonderful yoga class.

I left the class feeling so stretched out, and really empowered. It really is amazing what the body can do, when you treat it right.

I know that I must however proceed with caution when it comes to exercise. I already feel myself wanting to do yoga every single day, which is a little excessive. So I will continue with this yoga twice a week thing, and once my meal plan and weight have been stable for a while, and my exericse urges are less intense, I will start to look at also introducing running, which I really do miss!!

This snack was enjoyed at some point later in the day

6 premium plus crackers with 2 laughing cow cheese wedges (regular!! No light products here thanks!!) and a green apple sliced and sprinkled with some cinnamon lovin’

This was followed by a ridiculously long Greys Anatomy marathon – self inflicted. I started with season one about a months ago, and have watched almost all of season 2 in the past week. I think I may have a problem.

Though I do need something to fill the void seeing as Glee wont be returning until APRIL as a concerned fellow “Gleek” told me on my last post. Gah. Tear. I am having serious seperation anxiety.

Well I am running late for a study sesh with my friend at her house, so I will just quickly share todays lunch with you ladies, and be off:

Veggie Burger Swich: 2 slices whole wheat bread, buttered, then lovingly spread with 2 laughing cow cheese wedges -herb and garlic flavaaa, 1 sol veggie burger and lots of ketchup and mustard both inside and on da sidee. Also a nice refreshing mug of chocolate almond milk

And you ladies know by now, I love my desserts. I had an old favourite today, honestly have not had this in AAGGEESS: Deep chocolate vita muffin and butterscotch pudding.

-

aannndd, last but certainly not least…

the name of my post is actually from a song (although, I do want you all to love me )

and I CANNOT get it out of my mind…even though it is being sung by a 14 year old boy.

Ignorance is bliss..enjoy!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Ahh!! We had our first snow yesterday!!

And I love love loved it.

I am all about the christmas spirit.

(especially since I just watched Love Actually tonight with the moms.)

I am sooo stoked for christmas to come my waaaayy. In fact I am so excited, I got myself an advent calender, and I am enjoying that extra little bit of chocolate everyday.

Unfortunately, mine isnt as snazzy (fairtrade, dark chocolate) as this one...picture to follow someday..

…can we have advent calendars every month…pretty please?

Anywhoooo, I really do want to get back into blogging, but am feeling a little confused around how to do it..

I am so very out of the habit of food photographing, so I keep forgetting to do it. I am not planning on photographing at every intake, but if something is fun or interesting, I will and wanna share it with you all

we will see what I do…time will tell…I’m still experimenting with how to blog now. hmm.

However, onto the Day

I began today with going to the hospital and checking in with the maintenance program. I am finding it really helpful to be in the partial day program. It is making the transition back into daily life a lot easier to deal with. Its comforting to know that if something is triggering, or I struggle one day, I have supports who can help me talk it through the next day. (Which the blog community also helps with )

The program also really helps me to keep my meal plan in check. It can be really tempting when leaving intensive treatment to just revert back to old habits, and stop following the requirements. And it did cross my mind, but would that really be in my best interest? To bite the hand that fed me? (literally..bahaha) and forget all the hard work I put in to get to this healthy/happy place?

Hence, I have stayed completley on the meal plan (high energies and all) since leaving treatment and it has been fine! Nothing drastic has happened to my weight. In fact it has stayed pretty much exactlly the same. Proving ED wrong all over again. I can eat at a healthy weight, and STAY at the same weight with of course the normal healthy fluctuations.

So on Mondays-Wednesdays in the program we have lunch after our check-ins. It is encouraged on these days to take food risks, and challenge any food fears that may be lingering. Which I think is SO important.

I had this silly notion in my head while I was on weight gain, that it was ok to eat certain foods for weight gain, but once I was at a healthy weight, I would have to go back to healthy and safe foods only, always. This is incorrect girls.

All foods fit, and should be eaten in moderation.

And yes this includes things such as chocolate bars, baked goods, and chips.

No food should ever be feared, no matter what weight a person is at.

So I had a homemade ham, lettuce, tomato, mozzarella sandwich with mayo as my added fat on whole wheat bread with some orange juice. Then for my high energy serving and my risk I had a 3 reese’s peanut butter cups. (ahh-mazing, love em always. peanut butter and chocolate? does it get any better?)

I never ever ever could have imagined months ago that I could eat a lunch like that, and not only feel ok, but also eat normally the rest of the day. But I do. Most every single day. And yes, someday it can be hard. But for the most part, it feels wonderful to not dwell on everything that passes my lips anymore. FOOD IS JUST FOOD. Fuel to do all the things I enjoy

After quite a satisfying lunch, the program girls hung out and talked for a bit which was nice. We were able to catch up on all each others gossip, and make some plans for the week (such as watching Glee together, which we did tonight..more on that later..)

I was only able to chat for about 45 minutes before I had to rush away to meet some of my best friends for coffee, where we decided that..

WE ARE GOING ON A EUROTRIP

Hopefully it will be a little less crazy than this one…
….actually it may be crazier. Im stoked. Just a little.

Me and my 3 best girlies (who have been friends since grade one) have not seen enough of each other this year, what with me being in treatment, and some of us going to different schools. So we decided we should all take a trip together somewhere, just to reconnect while doing some much needed eurotripping.

No exact details yet, but we are thinking a little backpacking in London, Paris, Berlin.

Should be quite fantastic. Now if only I could get a job…

After coffee, I went straight to meet the momma for some retail therapy.

By this time, I was running a little low on fuel, so I picked up a new favourite.

A double tall soy caramel brule latte sans le whip (and a banana…obvi.)

Well…it wasn’t as pretty as that. But it tasted quite fantastic. And really boosted my christmas cheer. If you ladies havent given this a whirl yet, do it. You won’t be dissappointed.

Although this snack on-the-go hit the spot, we still left shopping with little success, determined however that we would try again the next day.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.

But onto more important matters…

Um. Amazing.

I fucking love this show. It brightens up my hump day each and every week.

But what about you guys??

Anyone else watch the finale? Thoughts?

I lovvvvvveeeddd it. The ending? Perfect. Can’t wait for Januray. Nuff Said.

Favourite songs?

Mine have got to be “Taking Chances”, “Don’t Stop Beleivin’”, “Keep Holding On” and “It’s My Life/Confessions”

Also, anything in particular you guys wanna see on here? Eats? Food Reviews? Life and Times? Maintaining recovery?….Glee?

Hope everyones weeks are going well!!

xx

Long time no see

Helllo All!

Gahh. Too Cute!

Gosh the last time I posted it was September!! And what a different place I am in now.

Back in September, I began an outpatient treatment program, after many months of trying to gain weight – with little success.

It was a really scary/tough time for me. To let go of all the control, and to fully give myself, and my eating disorder over to the program. After my first week, I was quite sure I was never going back. However, after really thinking about it, I realized how good the program really was for me, and I am so happy I stayed. .

After 13 weeks in the program, I made it to my low end weight, which settles out at a healthy BMI of 20. I am now in the maintenance part time day program, which is only 2-3 hours a day, 5 days a week, and I have maintained my weight for about 3 weeks or so now.

Just this week I dropped my last Boost off my meal plan (I went all the way up to 4!!! Crazy what the body needs to recover eh?)

So I just wanted to let you all know, I am alive, and feeling great.

Back in September, I never could have imagined that I would feel this good at this weight.

But I really do. I HAVE AN ASS AGAIN (which is kinda fun ) Clothes fit the way I want them to, I dont get concerned looks from people on the street, I look healthy, I feel healthy, and while these past few months have been super hard, it has been soooo worth it.

I have been thinking about returning to blogging, but more from the perspective of maintaining recovery, and the adventures I will take with all foods in moderation

Regardless, I have missed you all, and I hope everyone is well!!

xx