Tag Archives: cottage cheese

A little less conversation..

Happy Tuesday 🙂

Hope all your weeks got off to a great start!! Mine was very nice. Yesterday was my first day to myself in a while (I love my cousin, but sometimes a girl just needs some time on her lonesome 🙂 ) And I just enjoyed the lack of company a bit. But cha know whhaatt? I also forgot to blog!! So hows about a two day re-cap yes?

Sunday was a really lovely, really lazy day.

I started with a lovely breakfast staple:

IMG_0276Eggo FibrePlus Blueberry Waffles topped with banana and tropical cottage cheese. Enjoyed with a nice tall cup of Java.

It was my cousins last full day visiting, so I had thought that we would try and do lots on the last day, (ya know, to end the trip with a BANG.) But alas, there was lots of rain outside, and my cousin was a little exhausted from the gay clubbing the night before. So instead we spent the day just chilling at home, watching some chick flicks (“Blast from the Past”, “Two Weeks Notice”) and just enjoying eachothers company 🙂

After soo much lounging, you all know I needed some snackage to get me through it:

DSC01944

Vanilla Yogurt with 1/2 cup kashi puffed cereal and a sprinkling of All Bran Buds

Ohh it was yummy. And the perfect sized morning snack 🙂

Staying in also meant I finally had time to do some blogging, which was great. 🙂 I managed to keep the blog a secret for the whole of my cousins visit (snneaaakkyy), though he did stumble upon some food pictures, and seemed a little confused, but he didn’t bother asking. I assume he figured it had something to do with my recovery or something 😉

The stomach started rumbling, so some lunch was made and eaten:
DSC01945

Whole wheat pita with ham, mozzarella, tomato slices and dijon mustard.
Along with some Kashi TLC Crackers, apple slices, baby carrots and some unpictured orange mango juice.

After seeing me eat these for a week, my cousin decided he wanted to try making one. Half way through his mozzarella turkey melt, he went off to Subway for a 12″ BMT. I guess once you find something you like, you stick with it yeah?

Which is why I will be sticking close by my Panini grill 🙂

As I told you all, we had planned on hosting a potluck dinner that night. But the combination of the rain, and the fact that Sunday usually ends up being hangover-city for my friends, not as many people were able to attend as we had expected. So we decided to just continue down the same lazy path for the day and cancel the potluck. While my cousin was bummed to not be able to say bye to everyone properly, some girls dropped by to say bye throughout the evening, and others sent their goodbyes to him in texts 🙂 He was feeling the love.

Some time later more snack-age happened:

DSC01926(Repeat picture, sorry guys!!)

Vanilla Boost, 1/2 english muffin with laughing cow cheese and diced tomato

This is quickly becoming a favourite snack. Quick and absolutely delicious!

Because it was my cousins last night, and there was no potluck dinner going down, we decided to go out for dinner. So me, my mom, my dad, my cousin and another guest we had visiting from Sweden (we really were a full house last week) went to dinner at an Italian place downtown.

I didn’t bring my camera, as I was more focused on celebrating my cousins visit, but picture this dinnaaahh:

whole wheat bread slice with butter, 1 tomato slice with boccocini as an appetizer (we were sharing) and as a main I had a grilled salmon fillet, with some type of butter sauce, boiled potatoes and green beans.

Now to be truthful, the butter sauce did freak me out a bit. Although I include fats in all my meals (butter, olive oil etc) this uncontrolled, unknown amount of melted butter poured over my fillet caused some panic. I tried my best to just enjoy the added flavour, and not let the “calories” hinder my meal. It was tough, but I did my best.

When these situations arise, I try to just think “how would a normal person react to this situation?” In this case, they would probably just indulge in the great flavours of this dish, they would maybe even dip some of the fish in the extra butter sauce on the plate!! So should I be scared or nervous? No!!

After dinner we headed back home, and spent the rest of the evening on the back porch, telling jokes and recapping his trip. It was a really lovely end to a lazy day 🙂

This made the day even sweeter:

DSC01928

Mini So Delicious Neapolitan Ice cream Sandwich (these are sooo good, my gosh!) with some vanilla pudding and chocolate milk 😉

I am definetley planning on trying more of the So Delicious coconut milk ice cream products, cause this one, wins lots and lots of prizes in my books.

Then Came Monday:

I woke up bright and early (around 6:30) to get my cousin up, and ready to head to the airport. I made him a nice goodbye breakfast on the go, egg mcmuffin, with 1 scrambled egg, 1 slice mozzarella and keettcchup, with a sliced green apple on the side.

For my breakie: I made a whole wheat pita with 1 tbsp peanut butter and a whole naner sliced up. I put that baby in the panini grill, then wrapped it in some paper towel and enjoyed it on the car ride to the airport. Yummmy on the go 🙂 No photo though, sorry girls!!

So my cousin set off for Iceland well fed, and with little issue at the airport. I was really sad to see him go. We had quite a fun 2 weeks, but at the same time I think we were both ready for a bit of a break. There is only so much time you can spend with someone before they start to drive you a little crazy, and 12 days was the perfect dosage, not too much and not too little 🙂

It also was not too hard to say bye to him, because I am headed to Iceland for 6 days next week 🙂 I have already been once this summer for about 2 weeks. But this time we are going to a family reunion thats going down at the beginning of August. Hence I will be reunited with my cousin in no time. 😉

After dropping my cousin off at the airport, me and the momma drove around the city a bit, she stopped off at Starbucks and picked up a nonfat iced latte and a feta spinach wrap for herself. Mommas review? Latte was delicious, feta wrap was…suspicious…
She ended up giving up on the wrap about half way through.

I didn’t have anything, cause I had this lovely snack waiting for me at home:
Photo 60

Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif and 1% Milk

This is becoming one of my favourite flavours. Its up there with the maple nut clif. I have yet to try the white chocolate macadamia nut clif which I am sure could probably trump both from what I hear. Some day..some dayy..

After some more lounging with my momma I made a yuuummmyyy lunch:

IMG_0341Two slices rye bread with ham, melty cheddar cheese, tomato slices and dijon mustard – panini grilled. Along with some apple slices, baby carrots, Kashi TLC Crackers which were dipped in 1 tbsp salmon cream cheese (see it there?? in the corner, you see it? yum.) all washed down with some orange mango juice.

I had not had rye bread in sooooooo long, so I was stoked when we picked some up at the store the other day.  It had been too long friends, too long. It was an absolutely delicious sandwich. The bread was so soft, and yet crispy at the same time from the panini grilling. Perfection.

As I said, I decided to just enjoy some time on my own, and spent the rest of the day watching sit coms with my momma, checking facebook, walking around my neighbourhood etc. It was a lovely, and exactlly what I needed yesterday – being that it was the first day to myself in a while. So I am sorry for the lack of posting yesterday, I was just so busy indulging in my solitude. :p

I also indulged in this snack:
DSC01946

Tropical Cottage Cheese, with 1/3 cup of all bran buds.
I was also unable to finish all of my clif bar in the morning (was a little full), so I crumbled what was left of it into the cottage cheese as well, and as a cherry on top?
A peanut butter puffin. Yumms. Washed down with some vanilla soy milk.

This snack was delicious! Definetley a repeat sometime soon, but probably better to have it when dinner is far off, cause the protein from the cottage cheese and the clif made me stuufffeeeddd.
But ya’ll know that didn’t stop me from going out for some lovely sushi with the family 🙂

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while can probably guess what I got, is it lame I always order the same thing? Probably yes. But its just so gosh darn goooooood.

IMG_0297

Seaweed salad and a california roll (heart, love, kisses, hugs)

After dinner me and the fam headed over to the movies to see “500 days of Summer”

I loved this movie!! It was romantic, funny, sad, artistic, all wrapped up into one. Also the music in it was soo great. I will for suree be picking up the soundtrack sometime sooon. The fam loved it too, so girlies, if your looking for a film for ce soir? this is thee one 🙂

After the movie, me, my mom and my brother decided to walk home (about 10 minutes) cause the summer night weather was too good to pass up.

All in all it was another lovely day (hope this pattern continues 😉 ), and it was great to spend some quality time with the fam after the constant craziness of my cousins visit.

Alright well this post is long long long, so I’m gonna end it here. I have lots to tell you guys from happenings today, but I’ll save them goodies for tomorrows post!

Ooops, EDIT:
Now how could I have forgotten to include last night dessert?

IMG_0197

Mini Vanilla Chocolate Hagen Dazs Bar with Chocolate Milk

My oh my, it had been toooooo long since my last hagen dazs. I found mini versions in the store the other day and was sooo stoked. I could have my hagen daz fill, without actually becoming too full! win win win.

Love, as always
xx

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Oh Blog, where art thou?

Hello, and Happy Tuesday!!

Life has been pretty hectic lately as ya’ll know with the cousin visiting, but I have finally found me some time to do some proper posting.
I am MIA no mo’ 🙂

So yesterday I took my cousin to a theme park called Canada’s Wonderland. It was loootsss of fun. We went on the biggest rides, all day. And by the end my body was so shaken up, I didnt know what was up, down, left, right. It was cah-raazzaayy. We may or may not be going again later this week 😉

There was a slight incident though. Knowing I was going to be at the park ALL DAY I packed some very necessary snacks with me including Boost, Luna Bars, Fruit Snacks etc, to make sure I wouldnt be behind on servings. Well we get to the park, and immediately I am told to throw out all food (they know how to keep makin dolla dolla)

At first (and I know this is ridiculous) I wanted to cry. I felt stranded, I was in this park all day, without my ususal staples, and thought I would end the day SERIOUSLY behind in servings.

The first hour or so, I acted fine, but was freeaakking out inside, telling myself I was screwed, I would have to cram food in later, there was nothing to eat in the park but candy and burgers blah blah blah. When we finally got on the first ride I was stoked to have some serious distraction from my thoughts. The ride worked amazingly well in calming me down. As I was flying through the air on that ride, everything I was worrying about seemed kinda…stupid. The ride LITERALLY shook the worries out of me. I got off the ride, took a look around me and thought:

“all these people couldn’t bring their food in, and they are not freaking out. Why Can’t I just eat like everyone else? Whats the big deal? So what if I have to have the Boost when I get home, so what if I can’t have the exact granola bar I want, is this irrational? YES!

While I was still anxious, I felt more at ease with the situation and ready to just enjoy the day with my cousin on some craazzyy rides. And you know what ladies? Things worked out fine! 20 minutes later, we passsed by a snack stall stocked with Kashi granola bars and Nutrigrain products. (Don’t ya’ll love how healthy-er food is becoming more in demand?) I was also able to grab a Mr. Sub for lunch, while my cousin chowed down on two slices of Pizza. (My 5th sub in 5 days? yes. My cousin loves subs, so most of his requested meals are just that. I was getting tired of it, but for some reason by the time lunch rolled around, I was like “mmm sub.” …I have been brainwashed…subwashed..?

While the change in plan was hard, it was a great lesson. You can’t always get what you want. And once I am off this meal plan, and back to normal eating, I won’t have to worry about servings goals etc, and sometimes my eats will be unplanned and unexpected, and if I want to get better, I have to accept that!! All in all it was a great day, and a great lesson.

(and it didnt hurt that the kashi peanut butter bar I got at the park was deeeeelish) 😉

Here are some of the eats I managed to stealthily photograph over the past few days (blog is still a secret, schwing!):

IMG_0322Maple Nut Clif Bar and a Double Tall Soy Latte

DSC01855English muffin, half plain with just naner slices and butta. The other half with DCD and banana, panini’d together. The banana was so large, I still had LOTS of slices left over to enjoy on da side with my Cup o Joe.

DSC01857Strawberry Cottage Cheese with All Bran, and a snaaazy spoon. Oooooo Bendy.

IMG_0330Ezekial Bread with buttah, laughing cow cheese and tomato slices, Vanilla Boost 🙂
Photo 62Salmon burger with brown rice, carrots, apple slices, and juice. The burger was topped with some maple teriyaki sauce and laughing cow cheese.
Weird?
Yes. Yum? Most def.
Photo 64Choco Overload:
Mini So Delicious Ice Cream sammie with Chocolate Pudding, Whopper Chocolate Balls and some chocolate milk. 🙂

Well there you have it. Things have been going pretty well, and I am feeling pretty good. My cousin is here for another week, so it should be just as crazy as this one has been, though I kinda have a handle on it now, and think I can do a bit more posting.

Alright well I am off to do a movie marathon with my cousin, (4 in one night, yeaah buddy) I am sending you all lots of love and left over popcorn!!
xx

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Full House

Well ladies, its hump day again 🙂

These summer weeks are just flying by eh? I can’t beleive its already mid-July!!

So this hump day, I am in much less of a slump than the last one 🙂 My cousin arrived from Iceland last night! He is one of my best friends, and I am so stoked to have him here for 2 weeks! We have lots of fun stuff planned, shopping, sight seeing, baseball games, clubbing 😉 I cannot remember the last time my house was this full! Between January and April it was just me and my dad, but then my mom came back from Iceland, then my brother, and now my cousin. Full House 🙂

While my cousin knows everything that is going on with me, and that I am on a food schedule etc, I’m not gonna make him eat at my house all the time while he is on vacation! This means we will be taking him to restaurants and having some unplanned eats, but I will try the best I can to just be flexible. I’m also a little embarrassed about having to eat so often in front of him (6 times a day), but thats something I just have to get over if he is going to be here for 2 weeks. In reality, its nothing to be embarrased about! I’m trying to get better, and food is my (delicious) medicine! I am sure he will understand 🙂

Im gonna try my best to keep posting, but I may not be able to some days just cause things wills probably be a little hectic. Also, Im not telling my cousin about the blog, so food photo taking will have to be stealthy haha. I will for sure keep checking all your blogs though, no doubt about that!

Alright, on to some eats, all of these are from Monday 🙂
Breakfast:
DSC01816 Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal, with 1/2 english muffin, topped with 1 tbsp DCD and sliced banana. 

Please ignore the splenda pack, I caved a little. Had half of it on the english muffin, and then realisedits tastes kinda bad!

 
I beleive my days of splenda loving are over!  
Can I get an aaaaaamen!?

That breakie kept me quite full for a few hours, but low and behold, a snack was consumed around 12:
DSC01817

Strawberry Cottage Cheese, All Bran Buds, and some mo’ Java.

Just as I was finishing my snack, my mom said she was heading off to yoga. I asked if I could tag along, and she was ddooowwwn. 

It was my first time doing a normal class in about 2 years (I usually have private sessions, with the same teacher) and it was really fun! The stuff they were doing was a little more intense than what I do, but I just did what I could, and when the poses got too hard, I just chilled in childs pose. 🙂 It was fun!

After yoga we headed home, where I made some much needed lunch:
DSC01822DSC01826 

 

 

 

 

 

Brown Rice wrap with 2 slices turkey, melty mozzarella, tomato, lettuce and mustard. Apple slices, baby carrots, kashi crackers and some mango orange juice on the side. This was delicious, as always.

However, I do think that my lunches need a little more variety. Its always a similar sandwich with the same sides, and frankly, I am getting a little bored. Maybe a falafel one day? or a PB+J? 🙂 we will see what I come up with..

After lunch I did a little blogging and commenting, followed by a walk around the neighbourhood with my mom, cause on such a beaaauty of a day, its a shame to be inside for all of it!

When I got home from the walk, it was snack time once again:
DSC01829 

Vanilla yogurt with a crumbled up fruit n fibre bar (love em high fructose corn syrups…for some reason in Canada its labelled as glucose-fructose..odd yes?) and a strawberry boost. 

 

This was delicious and not too filling, which was key cause momma was cookin’ up a storm in the kitchen, and this time I got a picture of the magical result.

This is probably one of my favourite dinners of all time:
DSC01836 

Salmon poached in lemon juice and white wine, steamed veggies, brown rice, laughing cow for added flava on the veg, and some apple slices for dessert. Washed down with some vanilla soy milk 🙂

This was sooo good. I used to make this all the time, but for some reason had stopped making it. And ever since my mom made this on Friday night, I have been talking about how delicious it was, so she felt a repeat was in order. I wasn’t gonna argue 🙂

After dinner we all just lounged around the house. I also got to talking to one of my best friends who is spending the year in London, England. She has had such an incredible time. She got herself a job doing lighting for play productions there, and has since been asked by bands to do lighting for their gigs, and by event promoters to do lighting for their club events. preeeettyy snazzzy. The girl is finally returning to Canada in August, and I could not be happier. Though Im sure she would much rather just stay in England (can you really blame her?) 

Somethin’ Sweet:

DSC01845 Deep chocolate vitamffin with a kids vanilla fudge sundae cup, and some chocolate milk 🙂

 This was not the best ice cream I have ever had, so instead of eating it separate, I kinda melted it into the muffin, and it turned into a kind of chocolate mush. All I can say is YUM! 

In other news, I saw my dietitian yesterday and had a weigh in. She said my food records looked good, and that I was still doing really well. Only issue being that my gains are still not quite as good as they should be. For example I only gained 0.5 pound this time. So we agreed that I should try my best to get in every single serving (some days I miss one to two), and always get the supplement in, and see where that takes me. I’m gonna try my best to do that,so that I can keep seeing good results! This makes it all the more important for me to just stick to the meal plan, regardless of what my cousin may think of all the food I’m eating [too be honest, in all likelihood, he probably won’t even think about it, its prob just my ED being like: BE EMBARRASED! Lame ED…lame lame lame.]

Also, over the past few days I have gotten some e-mails from girls reading the blog, which has been really nice 🙂 Thank you for your e-mails!!

I just wanted to say that if anyone has any questions, or just wants to talk, I love getting e-mails, so do no hesitate to contact me 🙂 Also thank you all for reading my ramblings, its so great to know that some of you find it helpful, and I am really loving the blogging community 🙂

So as I said, I will try my best to keep posting, but there may be a few days here and there when I am a little less active than usual.

Hope you all have a great hump day! 
xx

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Fantastish!

Good Morning and Happy Sunday!

I hope you all had a great and relaxing weekend! I’m sorry about my lack of posting yesterday, I let myself take the day and just recover from friday night.

Friday was really great! It started with a friend coming over some pre drinks, we caught up and split a bottle of Riesling. 🙂 It was really nice to just kick back and enjoy some time with a friend. While it was hard for me at first to not think about the calories in the wine, it became easier to ignore that negative voice with each glass (not surprisingly 😉 ) Feeling a little buzzed we headed out to the bar where the party was. The birthday girl was well drunk, and we all had a great time.

I saw a lot of people who hadn’t seen me in a long time. One of my closest friends had just gotten back from a trip to Europe, and hadn’t seen me since I was at my lowest weight. When she saw me, she teared up a bit, and said I was looking so much better, and was looking a little bit more like my old self. 🙂

It was the best I have felt in a long time. The thought that I could look good has been far from my mind for months, so when people told me I did, it was hard for me to beleive it at first. But then I decided to take the compliment, and feel good about myself.

I had a great time, and left the night with many new plans to meet friends in the next week. Let it be a lesson: that even taking one step out of your shell can be a great leap forward!!

Saturday morning, was not as bad as expected! My head was throbbing a little 😉 but for the most part I was fine. I spent the morning watching trash TV with my mom (amazing hangover cure) but after a few hours we needed to get out of the house. So me, mom and my dad headed downtown and just enjoyed the weather and the bustle of the city. At around 5 I got a text from my friend inviting me to go see Bruno with a group of them.

My immediate reaction? I wanna go, but it interrupts my food schedule, so no.

Then I asked myself, would I really rather spend the night alone and stick exactlly to the food schedule or adjust the timing a little and be with my friends?

I adjusted and went! 🙂

I had an early dinner before the movie, and decided I could have the afternoon snack then instead after the movie. While it was a little anxiety provoking for me, I dealt with it, and got to see my girlies, and quite a hilarious movie.

My thoughts on Bruno? Shocking, but pretty funny 🙂 (My post title is from da film)
Compared with Borat, it was not as funny, but I still laughed quite a lot, and have never said “oh my god” so many times in one sitting, haha. I’m so happy I saw this with friends, and not my parents!! haha

So all in all a great weekend, I felt pretty free from the grips of my eating disorder, and that felt great! Friends are much better company than the ED voice.

So I didn’t photograph all my eats these past two days, but I did photograph some so here they are 🙂

Friday’s Breakfast:
DSC01780

Oatmeal bagel with butter, slicd banana, tropical cottage cheese (yum) and some coffee.

This was a great breakfast, super yummy and filling. It fueled me through the whole morning 🙂 Which included a starbucks run, an eyebrow wax, and general pampering for the evening ahead.


Friday’s Lunch:

DSC01784


Whole Wheat Pita with turkey, laughing cow and mustard
, with the usual sides of course.

Looks yummy? yessssss.

Mid Afternoon Fuel:
I was going to skip this snack, because of the calories I was going to be taking in in the alcohol. But then I reminded myself, normal people do not limit their food intake before they drink, so why should I? Hence the thumbs up, it was a snack in the right direction 🙂
Photo 67Smores Luna Bar

Also a quick picture of my new stunnaaaa shades I told ya’ll about. [excuse me pops in the background]

Photo 69

I wish I had a photo of Friday nights dinner, it was beeaauuutiful. My mom poached some salmon in white wine and lemon juice, and also grilled some asparagus and made a gorgeous salad. It was a classy start to my messy night.

Saturday mornings breakfast was eaten half conciously, hence no photogrpah, but I had some maple oatmeal with 1/2 an english muffin spread with 1 tbsp DCD, and banana-nananana.

Morning Snack looked a little something like this:
dsc01729 A repeat picture? me? never!

…or maybe just this once 🙂

Creamy Vanilla Yogurt, all bran, and just imagine some nanner slices on top.

Ain’t no such thang as too much potassium..i hope.

Lunch was the usual shebang, except a tuna melt! yummmers.
Then I read all your lovely blogs, and pondered doing an entry myself…but then we were off to the downtown, hence no postings 🙂

Before ish dashed off for some super fantastish movie watchings, Bruno, I made this lovely dinner, inspired by a few blogs I like reading:
Photo 72Sol Veggie Burger with mozzarella and ketchup on a whole wheat tortilla, panini’d and pressed. This was DELISH! Burgers on wraps, whodathunkit? But it was awesome, and definetley something I will repeat. I paired it with some steamed veggies, baby carrots, and my lemon lime gatorade.

xtra ketchup obvi on the side 🙂

I packed some kashi crackers along for the movie, and brought along my boost hoping I could have it during the movie, I ended up just having a fresh cold one when I got home instead.

np_chocoAlong with my Boost, I tried a new bar, similar to a LaraBar. It was a Nature Paths Organic Pure Fruit and Nut Bar – Chocolada Walnut flavour. I saw these in the store the other day and decided to be adventurous. It was vveeerrryyyy goood. Although nothing can take the place of larabars in my heart, these are quite similar, delicious, and come in many other flavours. Click here, for more info 🙂

Alright well I am off to enjoy the weather with the fam, we’re doing some gardening apparently. 🙂 Hope you all have a relaxing sunday, and I will be back to regular posting tomorrow.

But before ya’all dash off, make sure to check out Jaime’s fearless and fabulous GIVEAWAY 🙂 looks fantastic, yes?

Lots of love,
xx

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Look on the bright side

Hello hello hello

This is going to be a quick post because I am on my way out with the fam, but things are OK.

I’m still super bummed, but I talked with my dad, and he was up for the idea of me going back in January, and just about an hour ago, my mom suggested me going to school, but just taking a lighter course load, and coming home every weekend. So I hoooopping that will be the case. Going back at all would be fantastic! So I am keeping my hopes and my head up 🙂

Yesterday was tough, but I got through it, stuck to the plan, and I felt good by the end of the day, and had enjoyed quite a few lovely eats.

Breakfast:
DSC01751
To begin bringing me out of my slump, I had a breakfast favourite. 😉

2 eggo apple cinnamon fibre plus waffles, 1 banana, cottage cheese and some coffee.

I loveeedd these waffles, it was my first time trying that flavour, and they were yummmyy, and definetley helped put a bit of a smile on my face 🙂

I talked some things over with my dad and mom, and it was a little intense. So after that, my mom and I took a stroll to the neighbouthood starbucks, to blow off some steam, with some steamy drinks:
DSC01752

Double shot tall soy latte, and a chocolate chip peanut crunch clif bar.

I had this flavour before, and it was just as good this time around.
But nothing beats the maple nut. 🙂

I only had about half the bar, cause this girl was a little stuffed. I just planned to finish it later.

After this we went grocery shopping (as you notice, my mom was trying her best to cheer me up) and we got some very necessary grub which included la tortilla wraps, kashi crackers, turkey, apples, peanut butter puffins, some more clif bars and some juuiiice.

With my shiny new wraps I whipped up this DSC01753lunch:
Tortilla with lemon pepper tuna, laughing cow cheese and tomato slices {panini times} along with baby carrots, apple slices, and some pomegranate blueberry juice.

I was only able to eat half of this before I had to run out the door for my yoga session.

Yoga was the usual, super nice and relaxing. I always leave feeling so much more connected and in tune with my body 🙂 love love love it.

After yoga I promptly had my post workout snack the rest of my lunch, and read some blogs.

Before I knew it, I was off to therapy. Which went well, I would explain if I had more time, but basically he was able to clear some things up for me, and helped me to see the positives of the situation, rather than focus on the negatives. [such as having proper time to get better, spend more time with my brother who will be in the city this year etc.]

I needed some more comfort food, and what better than a little cocoa:
DSC01755

Liberte Vanilla Yogurt and a cocoa mint jocolat larabar.

This is the only jocalat flavour I have tried, and I love it so much that I have yet to tear myself away from it to try the other flavours. Some day..some day..

I crumbeled it into the yogurt, and it was loverrrlyy.

After this snack, I finished up my blog entry, and got myself ready for my friends BBQ, only to get a call from her saying it was no longer a BBQ (due to some rain), just a party, and I should get myself over there just a litttlee later.

I was all dolled up with no where to go (yet)
So I just pranced around the house for a bit, and then made myself this dinner (BBQ inspired):
DSC01758 Chicken burger on a whole wheat pita, with melty cheddar cheese, mustard and ketchup.

Steamed veggies, kashi crackers and a laughing cow cheese wedge.

After one bite, I felt the burger needed some more pizzazz, so I put the LC wedge on the burger, and put that baby on the panini, again. Problem solved. This burger deserved prizes.

Photo credits go to mom, who remembered for me to snap a photo 😉

Then I was off to the BBQ. It was really fun, saw some friends, met some new people, had a drink, and felt a little more normal again. It made me realise how much we neeed interaction to be healthy. Just being with other people, and being out of the house made me feel so much more at ease with myself, and with the wholes situation. (though it did suck when people from other schools started talking about how stoked they were to come visit us at our house next year..but im keeping my hopes up! I will be there at some point!)

I headed home sometime after midnight, kinda early, but peoples had work, so it wasn’t an all night raging vibe anyway, gotta save some energy for the weekend 😉

Once home I was ready for some sleep, and tucked myself right into bed.

Well girlies, as always here is yesterdays sweet concontion:
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Cookies n Cream Ice Cream, some skor bites, the rest of my clif bar (I didnt forget 🙂 ) and some chocolate milk

I am off to sushi with the fam, we’re gonna try and just put all this drama aside for a night, and just enjoy some time together.

Then tomorrow morning I have the weigh in with my dietitan! Hoping for the best!

Have a lovely night girlies!!
xx

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Bad News…

Well it’s Hump Day!

And unfortunatley I’m in a little bit of a slump (hah, witty)
Last night my parents went out to dinner together, and when they got back I could tell something was wrong. My dad didnt talk to me, or look me in the eye, and my mom was being SUPER nice. Too Nice.

About an hour later, I got to talking to my mom. And..it wasn’t good. It turned out that over dinner my dad told her that he had e-mailed my school, and my landlord (I was renting a house with 4 other girls next year) and told both that I would not be returning for school and asked for instructions on how to delay my courses/rent.  

At first I couldn’t speak. I literally had no words. This was something my dad had been kind of threatening if my weight didn’t go up more, soon. But it was something he was going to talk to me about first. And then he just did it anyway. I felt betrayed.

I have been working so hard, and going back to school has been my main motivation, and now it seems that has all gone away. 

I know my housemates are going to be annoyed because now they have to find someone else to take the room, and I know that everyone at school is going to know why I am not there. I know they are going to be talking about how I couldnt come back because I was still sick. And whats worse, and what is scaring me right now, is that while the first few months people will notice I’m not there, soon they will get used to not having me around, and maybe soon I won’t be missed. And even if I do get to go back next fall, I feel like it will all be so different. I will be a year behind everyone else, and everyone will know why I had to take a year off. I feel so ashamed. and gosh, girls, I just feel so sad. 

A part of me feels all my hard work has gone to waste. But the deepest part of me knows that is wrong. The progress I have made still counts. And I need to hold onto that right now, and not go the other direction, because really that won’t make things any better. I am going to keep gaining, and keep moving forward. The sooner my weight goes up, the sooner I can get back to LIFE!

Who knows, maybe I can go back in January, and only be half a term behind.

Its just so frustrating to me because I haven’t been weighed since I started this new meal plan last week. I may very well have gained, and my dad is just assuming the worst!!!

I’m seeing my therapist today, and maybe he will be able to help me sort through this. But yeah, I’m not feeling so fantastic right now. 

My best friends having a BBQ tonight, so I’m hoping that will lift my spirits a little. It will be nice to see friends, and get away from the parents and “reality” of it all for a bit.

“ahh yesterday…all my troubles seemed so far awayyyy..”

Breakfast:
Photo 62Egg McMuffin:
1 egg scrambled, 1 laughing cow wedge on an english muffin, panini’d to perfection.
1 banana sliced up, and some unpictured Java.

I was gonna have the blueberry yogurt, but was feeling kind of full, so decided to have some dairy lataaaa.

After Breakfast, my mom invited me on an outing to Ikea, and I happily obliged. Being Swedish, Ikea is the closest thing we have to our Scandinavian roots here in Canada, and so we pay them a patriotic visit from time to time 🙂 
One of my favourite things about Ikea, are their Swedish Meatballs,
 my oh myy, I used to always get the managers special portion (oh you know the one, with like 20 meatballs!?) which I would have done the yesterday had I not just eaten my lovely breakfast sandwich. We did however walk by the Ikea cafe, where I saw this somewhat shocking poster.
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A whole breakfast like that for ONE DOLLA!?

Is anyone else concerned with what the food is made of when they sell it for a single buck?

Crazy ikea corporation swedish folk.

 

After roaming around Ikea for a bit, we didn’t find much of anything, so we decided to just head home, but we did manage to pick up some daim mini bites (ahhhmazzzinngg chocolate, I can only ever find them  in Ikea) I was stoked.

Once we got home, I got to snackin’
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Creamy Vanilla Yogurt and a crumbeled up Fruit n Fibre Bar. Yum Yum Yum.

While eating, I did my blogging for the day, and some facebook chattin/creepin. 

Then me and my mom realised that the Micheal Jackson Memorial was on TV! 

We watched for a bit, pretty huge event eh? I thought it was pretty well done, and nice that his life could be celebrated like that. I do have to say though, that I find it hard to forget that he may or may not have violated some young kids…so I still feel kind of iffy about the guy. 😦

Some time later lunch was eaten, but i guess I was pretty hungry, cause I totally forgot to take a picture!! It was pretty standard though, turkey, laughing cow cheese, tomato and mustard on a whole wheat pita, with some apple slices, kashi crackers 1tbsp cream cheese aaaand some lovely mango orange juice. Yum. 
 
After lunch my brother got home from work and suggested we go for a bike ride (which I made sure was quick and light no worries 😉 )

We just biked around my neighbourhood and it was really nice to be out of the house in the nice weather, and doing a bit of exercise!! I definetley noticed that my muscles were a little weaker from not having exercised in soooooo long. But I understand that my body needs a rest, and I’m happy to give it them time it needs. I’m just looking forward to building up that strength again some day 🙂

After the bike ride I was feeling kind of  peckish (sp?) 

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Banana and Butter on a slice of ezekial toast, which I paired with a tropical cottage cheese, and a Strawberry Boost.

Jenna left me a comment the other day saying that Strawberry was the best Boost flavour, so I made sure to pick some up, and my oh my was she ever right. It was delisshh!!

Sometime after this snack my parents got back from dinner, and thats when the day took a pretty sharp turn from fine to terrible. My mom, seeing I was upset took me out for a bit, which was nice. I definetley did not want to be in the house with my dad at that point.

A part of me does think that a year off would be good for me, to give me time to truly get completly better. But I wish it could have been MY decision, not my Dad’s. Its my life, and right now it doesn’t seem I have much say in it 😦

I needed some cheering up, so I treated myself to a dinner fit for a King Queen.

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The lightings a little off, but this beauty was a Salmon Burger Pattie, brushed with maple teriyaki sauce (from the barefoot contessa, love that biddy) brown rice, spinach and steamed veggies accompanied by a laughing cow cheese wedge, apple slices, and some almond milk 🙂
This was super yummy, satisfying and filling. It was also a step in the right direction. 

Not going back to school is a bit of a set back, but Im not going to give up now on getting better. I am NEVER going to go back to restricting. 

Cause (and the wit continues) it has really only restricted my freedom in life!!

The Cherry on Top:

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Deep chocolate vitamuffin top, with vanilla pudding, chocolate milk, aaaannnnddd a couple daim bites. (yum!)

 

 
Well I am off to get myself ready for some BBQ action, I just got back from my therapist, and shiz was good, but I’ll leave that for another post, cause this one is LLOOONNNGGG.

Love you all! Stay Strong!! I know I’m gonna try!
xx

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“You can always go, Downtown…”

Gooood Morning, I hope you all had a great start to the week.

Mine was pretty good. As nice as it was to be with my friends this weekend, it felt good to get back to routine a bit, and just enjoy a day to myself 🙂

Breakfast was deeeelish:
DSC01720 Cinnamon Raisin Bagel
, buttered post picture, 1/2 green apple, strawberry cottage cheese (more than pictured, I just put some on the plate for you ladies to seee) and some 1% milk

This was my first time having these cinnamon raisin bagels, and my oh my were they good. For everyone in Canada, these are the Presidents Choice Bleu Menu Cinnamon Raisin Bagels. I highly reccomend them, delicious, and good for you!!

After breakfast I uploaded my pictures and videos from the cottage, blogged,  and then caught up with all of your lovely blogs, and it seems everyone had a great holiday weekend 🙂

After all that time in front of the computer, I needed to get myself out of the house. So got myself prettied up, and walked downtown (only about 10 minutes from my house, our area is great in that way as it is really quiet and feels closed off from the bustle of the city, yet in reality, its just a few blocks away 😉 ) The weather was amazing once again, so I walked slow and just took it all in.

photo-2 Once downtown I grabbed myself a double tall soy latte (are we sensing a pattern here?) and nibbled on this bar that I grabbed before leaving the house.

Kellogs Fruit n Fibre Bar. They don’t sell these in Canada, but I bought a big box of them when I was in Iceland. I know they are not the healthiest for you, methinks there may be some high fructose corn syrup in there. But I really like em’. So whatevvvaaaa.

Of course I also ended up in Whole Foods, where I restocked on some things: deep chocolate vita tops, some clif bars, a mint jocolat bar, yogurt, and some Amy’s instant meals (personal cheese pizza, spinach and feta pocket) I’m looking forward to trying out 🙂 

Are there any Amy’s products you guys reccomend?
I have had the burrito, and I loved that, but I definetley wanna expand on that. There are many a time when an instant meal would come in handy. 🙂 

Then I headed back home with all the yummy loot. Once I got home, and sorted all the stuffs away, I made myself some lunch:
Photo 572 slices Ezekial Bread, with 1 large turkey slice, 1 slice melty plastic cheddar, and some mustard. And as always, 1/2 green apple, 9 kashi TLC crackers, and some lemonade. We were out of carrots, I cried a little.

I didn’t realise until I uploaded the picture, but my outfit yesterday def had a halloweeny feel eh?

Twas a very yummy lunch, it had been a while since I had proper sandwhich bread, and my oh my had I missed it. After lunch my mom said she had to do some grocery shopping downtown, and asked me if I wanted to go along

grocery shopping? downtown (again!?) Obvi I went.

It felt really good to be out of the house so much today, and also spend some more time with the moms. We unfortunately got in a bit of a fight on the way home (shes basically just frustrated with my whole situation (slow weight gain etc), and sometimes that comes out in somewhat unreasonable arguments) While at first I decided to just storm off and walk ahead of her home, about 3 minutes in, I realised I wasn’t achieving anything, and it would just make things worse later. So I sucked it up, went back to her and said I didn’t want to be in a fight with her. I was still mad, but after about 10 minutes the anger passed, and she apoligized for blowing up as well. Crisis averted 🙂

Once we got home I decided to give my bestie a ring. Girlie had just gotten out of work completley exhausted and was headed to the gym to get her sweat on. (Thats one of the things I use to motivate myself, the sooner I get my weight up, the sooner I can begin to be active again and build a healthy relationship with exercise.) For the most part it was just a normal catch up sesh, but then she kind of surprised me by saying “what was wrong at the cottage?” I was definetley surprised by this, because as I told all you girls I had a great time. But I guess she noticed a few of the times I had mini panics about the unplanned food and such, cause she said there were times when she would see me and knew I was not all there, that a lot of me was preoccupied with what was in my head, (people know us much better than we think.) I explained to her the worries I had been having some of the time, but assured her I did have a great time. She was happy to hear that, but kind of upset that I had not talked to her about it, and reminded me to keep being open with her. At the time, I didn’t want to talk to her about it cause i didn’t want to ruin her good time at the cottage, but she said the only thing that really hindered the weekend for her was that she felt I was holding back from her, and that all she really wanted was for me to tell her at the time and let me know what was going on, so she could help me! 

I honestly feel so blessed to have friends that truly care about me, and are really there for me no matter what. I just need to remember to reciprocate. Be as open with them as they are with me, and be more present in their lives, and NOT pull away.  

Feeling resolved I headed down to the kitchen and whipped up a snack:
Photo 59

1/2 english muffin with 1 tbsp white chocolate wonderful (yum) 1 banana, and a chocolate boost. 

After this snack I decided my hair was lookin a little nasty, and felt I should shower. Enjoying feelin so fresh and so clean clean, I chilled around the house doing pretty much nothin’ until the hunger started to roll around, and I decided to start making some dinner. 

After reading this fabulous blog, I was craving myself a chicken wrap for dinner. So away I went on preparing some chicken for my wrap. However, being the forgetfull girl I am, I left my chicken in the oven tooo long, and the beauty burned. 😦

It was getting too late to wait another half an hour for another chicken breast, so instead I microwaved myself a veggie burger and enjoyed the resulting meal: 

Photo 61 Sol veggie burger with some more melty cheddar cheese, tomato slices, onion, mustard and ketchup on a whole wheat hamburger thin. Obvi it went on the panini grill too. Still lacking in carrots, I had MORE apple slices, some blueberry yogurt, and my fruit punch gatorade on the side. 

After dinner, I watched Kramer vs. Kramer with the parents. Its a great movie from the late 70’s starring a super young Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep. The movie basically focuses on a custody hearing between Hoffman and Streep over who should have sole custody of their kid (cutest kid ever by the way) after Streeps character leaves the family with no explanation for 8 months, only to return saying she wants the kid she had left! Craaaaazyy.

All in all it was a pretty good start to the week. Theres not too much planned for this week, which I am actually kind of looking forward too. Just taking it easy and seeing where the week takes me.

A BIG thank you for your supportive comments. Its really nice to know that my blog is being read, and hearing from you girls that I am doing well, is even more affirming, and motivates me to keep getting better! 🙂

Now you know I had to end the day on a sweet note:
DSC01722 
A deep chocolate vita muffintop (microwaved to maximize yumminess), with smores pudding and some chocolate milk. 

A yummy end to the day.

Alright I am off to watch the MJ memorial on TV. Should be pretty epic.

Have a great day girlies!!
xx

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