Tag Archives: Laughing Cow

Twas A Crazy Fortnight

Ok, so NOW I am back to normal blogging.. 😉

I am so sorry for my absence!! Although things have been a little less crazy these past few days, I still haven’t been able to find the time to sit down and blog till now. I have been reading up on you girls though, and will do some proper commenting later 🙂

So, I think we may have overwhelmed my cousin the first week with all the things we did, cause these past few days when I ask him what he wants to do the answer is usually along the lines of:

“stay in and take it easy”

So these past few days we have mostly just bummed around the house while he plays with his new MacBook, except for the occasional trip downtown to do some shop browsing. I did not mind the reduced activity at all – I think I also needed a bit of a break from hosting and sightseeing myself. 😉

Here are the few photographed eats from the past few days:
DSC01916Mocha Boost.
This came in a variety pack, so there was only one. I hope they start making 6 packs of this though cause it was yummmeehh!

DSC01926Snack: English muffin with laughin’ cow cheese, and diced tomato. Some vanilla Boost alongside.
DSC01919A lovely dessert: Aero Caramel Bar and Chocolate Milk

We did have quite the crazy weekend though. On friday we hosted a pre drink at my house which was lots of fun! All the girls came as well as some guy friends from school. My cousin was soooo intrigued by “flip cup” and amazed at how much alcohol we all consume in such a short period of time. My cousin, you see, is from Iceland. And all his friends there are a bit older 25-30ish. So when they drink, its a lot, but slowly over time. Whereas here, I guess we feel we don’t have time to drink slowly, hence we all down the liquor to get to the bar quicker (hah, that rhymed.)

By the time everyone was ready to head out, me, my cousin and some other girls were more in the mood to just stay home, drink some more, and girl talk. It was a good end to the night.

I ended up not getting to bed til about 3 friday night, resulting in quite a lovely sleep in 🙂

I woke up saturday, around 11, and knew exactlly what I needed to cure my throbbing head:

DSC01940 Oatmeal bagel, butter, sliced banana, later topped with some tropical cottage chesse.

It tasted even better than it looks, and did the trick!!

Waking up so late did require some maneuvering with eating times. I was having my breakfast at a time I would usually be having my morning snack. This is something that 3 weeks ago would have really bothered me and freaked me out, but somehow I was ok with it. I could adjust the times a little bit, and just fit in a little more food into one snack to make up for the missed morning one. Problem solved 🙂

Still feeling the effects of the night before, me and my cousin continued bumming around the house, watching movies, checking facebook, all that good lazy stuff. Around 2, we decided to walk out to my neighbourhood starbucks. Which ended up being a little less than pleasant, as we were attacked with a sudden heavy (and I mean HEAVY) rain storm.
Needless to say we were soaked by the time we got to Starbucks, and even more in need of a hot drink than before.
I enjoyed the usual double tall soy latte, while my cousin got his starbucks order, tall vanilla latte. They don’t have Starbucks in Iceland, and he has loved being able to go so often, and to have his usual order.

Momma was nice enough to save us from the rain, and drove to pick us up. By the time we got back,it was 3 and I figured it would be a good time for lunch 🙂
IMG_0337

Open faced english muffin sandwich with ham, laughing cow cheese and dijon mustard. With the ususal sides of carrots, apple slices, and some orange mango juice

This was deeeelish. More open faced sandwiches will be eaten by me in the next few days. But first wraps! Its been about a week since I have had a proper melty wrap and I am fiending for onee!!!

As the rain continued, we felt even more bummy, and spent the afternoon looking up funny cat videos on youtube. Goodtimes

At around 7 I tucked into this lovely snack DSC01943:

Chocolate Boost and a Nutz Over Chocolate Luna Bar

Around the time I ate this snack, the weather was clearing up, and my brother suggested going to a street jazz festival that was happening downtown. While this sounded fun, it also made me super anxious. All of a sudden I had thoughts of skipping my snack, saving my Boost till after dinner, so that if it was something super unplanned and substantial I could skip the Boost and make it OK.

I quickly snapped out of it, remembering that skipping the boost would only be cheating myself and why not just get it overwith. I repeated the words of my dietician in my head “there is no reason for you to ever miss the supplement, unless you are stranded on a boost-less, clif-less island” and that was certainly not where I was..

So I had the Boost and Luna, and it felt fine (and tasted fantastic!!) I left the situation feeling stronger, and better for having overcome and challenged those irrational thoughts.

Feeling empowered, I headed to the street jazz festival with my brother, his friend and my cousin. It was lots of fun! We strolled the street, grabbed some grub (mr. sub….any guesses on who suggested that?), then went to a bar, where I had some chardonnay.
Weird Mix? Yes. Delicious? Yes yes yes.
mrsub2

white-wine-glassAt around 11 o clock, I got a text from my friend saying he was going to a Gay Club downtown, and wanted to know if me and my cousin were up to it. My cousin is gay, and he had been talking about wanting to see the gay area and scene in Toronto, so away we went. 🙂

One issue was that going out meant that I might miss my high energy snack (that lovely dessert that you girls see at the end of all my posts) which I knew would be a bad idea calorie wise, especially if I was going to be dancing lots into the night. So to make sure I got in those delicious calories, I grabbed a Banana Cookie LaraBar out of my bag, and nibbled away on our way to the club. And even better? I wasn’t embarrased to eat it in front of my cousin!! I felt totally fine, and I was not in the least bit ashamed. I was doing what I knew was best for me, and he supports me in that!
larabar

After waiting in line for about an hour we got in, and it was crrraaazzzyyy fun. The club was packed, and pumping with awesome clubbing music (techno, lady gaga, obvi some Madonna) My cousin loved it (though he did have to say that Icelandic Gay Clubs were maybe a little better) and as a result we didn’t head home until about 3 am. My cousin picked up some pizza, I got some chocolate milk, and we strolled home  gossiping about all the cute boys in the club, and one in particular who had an eye on my cousin 😉

All in all it was a great weekend, and it doesn’t end there! Tonight I am hosting a potluck dinner as a going away party for my cousin who leaves tomorrow!! 😦 It will be sad, but a great way to conclude his trip, with some good eats and good friends 🙂

His visit has been amazing, fun, terrifying, challenging, frustrating, exhilirating, all at once. There were times it was great, and times it was tough, but at the end of it all I got to spend 2 solid weeks with one of my best friends, and he was able to push me outside of my comfort zone and push me further in my road to recovery. I already feel so much more like a ‘normal’ eater compared to 2 weeks ago. Given, I still have a lot of food issues and anxieties I need to tackle, and my weight still needs to go up up up, but good progress has been made, and I am stoked about that.

So lets call this my official return to blogging yes? I’ll post much more regularly, and comment lots lots lots. I’ve missed it!
So I hope you all are well, and that you have enjoyed these past few summer weeks to the upmost, I know I have 😉

Lots and lots of love,
xx

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Oh Blog, where art thou?

Hello, and Happy Tuesday!!

Life has been pretty hectic lately as ya’ll know with the cousin visiting, but I have finally found me some time to do some proper posting.
I am MIA no mo’ 🙂

So yesterday I took my cousin to a theme park called Canada’s Wonderland. It was loootsss of fun. We went on the biggest rides, all day. And by the end my body was so shaken up, I didnt know what was up, down, left, right. It was cah-raazzaayy. We may or may not be going again later this week 😉

There was a slight incident though. Knowing I was going to be at the park ALL DAY I packed some very necessary snacks with me including Boost, Luna Bars, Fruit Snacks etc, to make sure I wouldnt be behind on servings. Well we get to the park, and immediately I am told to throw out all food (they know how to keep makin dolla dolla)

At first (and I know this is ridiculous) I wanted to cry. I felt stranded, I was in this park all day, without my ususal staples, and thought I would end the day SERIOUSLY behind in servings.

The first hour or so, I acted fine, but was freeaakking out inside, telling myself I was screwed, I would have to cram food in later, there was nothing to eat in the park but candy and burgers blah blah blah. When we finally got on the first ride I was stoked to have some serious distraction from my thoughts. The ride worked amazingly well in calming me down. As I was flying through the air on that ride, everything I was worrying about seemed kinda…stupid. The ride LITERALLY shook the worries out of me. I got off the ride, took a look around me and thought:

“all these people couldn’t bring their food in, and they are not freaking out. Why Can’t I just eat like everyone else? Whats the big deal? So what if I have to have the Boost when I get home, so what if I can’t have the exact granola bar I want, is this irrational? YES!

While I was still anxious, I felt more at ease with the situation and ready to just enjoy the day with my cousin on some craazzyy rides. And you know what ladies? Things worked out fine! 20 minutes later, we passsed by a snack stall stocked with Kashi granola bars and Nutrigrain products. (Don’t ya’ll love how healthy-er food is becoming more in demand?) I was also able to grab a Mr. Sub for lunch, while my cousin chowed down on two slices of Pizza. (My 5th sub in 5 days? yes. My cousin loves subs, so most of his requested meals are just that. I was getting tired of it, but for some reason by the time lunch rolled around, I was like “mmm sub.” …I have been brainwashed…subwashed..?

While the change in plan was hard, it was a great lesson. You can’t always get what you want. And once I am off this meal plan, and back to normal eating, I won’t have to worry about servings goals etc, and sometimes my eats will be unplanned and unexpected, and if I want to get better, I have to accept that!! All in all it was a great day, and a great lesson.

(and it didnt hurt that the kashi peanut butter bar I got at the park was deeeeelish) 😉

Here are some of the eats I managed to stealthily photograph over the past few days (blog is still a secret, schwing!):

IMG_0322Maple Nut Clif Bar and a Double Tall Soy Latte

DSC01855English muffin, half plain with just naner slices and butta. The other half with DCD and banana, panini’d together. The banana was so large, I still had LOTS of slices left over to enjoy on da side with my Cup o Joe.

DSC01857Strawberry Cottage Cheese with All Bran, and a snaaazy spoon. Oooooo Bendy.

IMG_0330Ezekial Bread with buttah, laughing cow cheese and tomato slices, Vanilla Boost 🙂
Photo 62Salmon burger with brown rice, carrots, apple slices, and juice. The burger was topped with some maple teriyaki sauce and laughing cow cheese.
Weird?
Yes. Yum? Most def.
Photo 64Choco Overload:
Mini So Delicious Ice Cream sammie with Chocolate Pudding, Whopper Chocolate Balls and some chocolate milk. 🙂

Well there you have it. Things have been going pretty well, and I am feeling pretty good. My cousin is here for another week, so it should be just as crazy as this one has been, though I kinda have a handle on it now, and think I can do a bit more posting.

Alright well I am off to do a movie marathon with my cousin, (4 in one night, yeaah buddy) I am sending you all lots of love and left over popcorn!!
xx

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Fantastish!

Good Morning and Happy Sunday!

I hope you all had a great and relaxing weekend! I’m sorry about my lack of posting yesterday, I let myself take the day and just recover from friday night.

Friday was really great! It started with a friend coming over some pre drinks, we caught up and split a bottle of Riesling. 🙂 It was really nice to just kick back and enjoy some time with a friend. While it was hard for me at first to not think about the calories in the wine, it became easier to ignore that negative voice with each glass (not surprisingly 😉 ) Feeling a little buzzed we headed out to the bar where the party was. The birthday girl was well drunk, and we all had a great time.

I saw a lot of people who hadn’t seen me in a long time. One of my closest friends had just gotten back from a trip to Europe, and hadn’t seen me since I was at my lowest weight. When she saw me, she teared up a bit, and said I was looking so much better, and was looking a little bit more like my old self. 🙂

It was the best I have felt in a long time. The thought that I could look good has been far from my mind for months, so when people told me I did, it was hard for me to beleive it at first. But then I decided to take the compliment, and feel good about myself.

I had a great time, and left the night with many new plans to meet friends in the next week. Let it be a lesson: that even taking one step out of your shell can be a great leap forward!!

Saturday morning, was not as bad as expected! My head was throbbing a little 😉 but for the most part I was fine. I spent the morning watching trash TV with my mom (amazing hangover cure) but after a few hours we needed to get out of the house. So me, mom and my dad headed downtown and just enjoyed the weather and the bustle of the city. At around 5 I got a text from my friend inviting me to go see Bruno with a group of them.

My immediate reaction? I wanna go, but it interrupts my food schedule, so no.

Then I asked myself, would I really rather spend the night alone and stick exactlly to the food schedule or adjust the timing a little and be with my friends?

I adjusted and went! 🙂

I had an early dinner before the movie, and decided I could have the afternoon snack then instead after the movie. While it was a little anxiety provoking for me, I dealt with it, and got to see my girlies, and quite a hilarious movie.

My thoughts on Bruno? Shocking, but pretty funny 🙂 (My post title is from da film)
Compared with Borat, it was not as funny, but I still laughed quite a lot, and have never said “oh my god” so many times in one sitting, haha. I’m so happy I saw this with friends, and not my parents!! haha

So all in all a great weekend, I felt pretty free from the grips of my eating disorder, and that felt great! Friends are much better company than the ED voice.

So I didn’t photograph all my eats these past two days, but I did photograph some so here they are 🙂

Friday’s Breakfast:
DSC01780

Oatmeal bagel with butter, slicd banana, tropical cottage cheese (yum) and some coffee.

This was a great breakfast, super yummy and filling. It fueled me through the whole morning 🙂 Which included a starbucks run, an eyebrow wax, and general pampering for the evening ahead.


Friday’s Lunch:

DSC01784


Whole Wheat Pita with turkey, laughing cow and mustard
, with the usual sides of course.

Looks yummy? yessssss.

Mid Afternoon Fuel:
I was going to skip this snack, because of the calories I was going to be taking in in the alcohol. But then I reminded myself, normal people do not limit their food intake before they drink, so why should I? Hence the thumbs up, it was a snack in the right direction 🙂
Photo 67Smores Luna Bar

Also a quick picture of my new stunnaaaa shades I told ya’ll about. [excuse me pops in the background]

Photo 69

I wish I had a photo of Friday nights dinner, it was beeaauuutiful. My mom poached some salmon in white wine and lemon juice, and also grilled some asparagus and made a gorgeous salad. It was a classy start to my messy night.

Saturday mornings breakfast was eaten half conciously, hence no photogrpah, but I had some maple oatmeal with 1/2 an english muffin spread with 1 tbsp DCD, and banana-nananana.

Morning Snack looked a little something like this:
dsc01729 A repeat picture? me? never!

…or maybe just this once 🙂

Creamy Vanilla Yogurt, all bran, and just imagine some nanner slices on top.

Ain’t no such thang as too much potassium..i hope.

Lunch was the usual shebang, except a tuna melt! yummmers.
Then I read all your lovely blogs, and pondered doing an entry myself…but then we were off to the downtown, hence no postings 🙂

Before ish dashed off for some super fantastish movie watchings, Bruno, I made this lovely dinner, inspired by a few blogs I like reading:
Photo 72Sol Veggie Burger with mozzarella and ketchup on a whole wheat tortilla, panini’d and pressed. This was DELISH! Burgers on wraps, whodathunkit? But it was awesome, and definetley something I will repeat. I paired it with some steamed veggies, baby carrots, and my lemon lime gatorade.

xtra ketchup obvi on the side 🙂

I packed some kashi crackers along for the movie, and brought along my boost hoping I could have it during the movie, I ended up just having a fresh cold one when I got home instead.

np_chocoAlong with my Boost, I tried a new bar, similar to a LaraBar. It was a Nature Paths Organic Pure Fruit and Nut Bar – Chocolada Walnut flavour. I saw these in the store the other day and decided to be adventurous. It was vveeerrryyyy goood. Although nothing can take the place of larabars in my heart, these are quite similar, delicious, and come in many other flavours. Click here, for more info 🙂

Alright well I am off to enjoy the weather with the fam, we’re doing some gardening apparently. 🙂 Hope you all have a relaxing sunday, and I will be back to regular posting tomorrow.

But before ya’all dash off, make sure to check out Jaime’s fearless and fabulous GIVEAWAY 🙂 looks fantastic, yes?

Lots of love,
xx

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Look on the bright side

Hello hello hello

This is going to be a quick post because I am on my way out with the fam, but things are OK.

I’m still super bummed, but I talked with my dad, and he was up for the idea of me going back in January, and just about an hour ago, my mom suggested me going to school, but just taking a lighter course load, and coming home every weekend. So I hoooopping that will be the case. Going back at all would be fantastic! So I am keeping my hopes and my head up 🙂

Yesterday was tough, but I got through it, stuck to the plan, and I felt good by the end of the day, and had enjoyed quite a few lovely eats.

Breakfast:
DSC01751
To begin bringing me out of my slump, I had a breakfast favourite. 😉

2 eggo apple cinnamon fibre plus waffles, 1 banana, cottage cheese and some coffee.

I loveeedd these waffles, it was my first time trying that flavour, and they were yummmyy, and definetley helped put a bit of a smile on my face 🙂

I talked some things over with my dad and mom, and it was a little intense. So after that, my mom and I took a stroll to the neighbouthood starbucks, to blow off some steam, with some steamy drinks:
DSC01752

Double shot tall soy latte, and a chocolate chip peanut crunch clif bar.

I had this flavour before, and it was just as good this time around.
But nothing beats the maple nut. 🙂

I only had about half the bar, cause this girl was a little stuffed. I just planned to finish it later.

After this we went grocery shopping (as you notice, my mom was trying her best to cheer me up) and we got some very necessary grub which included la tortilla wraps, kashi crackers, turkey, apples, peanut butter puffins, some more clif bars and some juuiiice.

With my shiny new wraps I whipped up this DSC01753lunch:
Tortilla with lemon pepper tuna, laughing cow cheese and tomato slices {panini times} along with baby carrots, apple slices, and some pomegranate blueberry juice.

I was only able to eat half of this before I had to run out the door for my yoga session.

Yoga was the usual, super nice and relaxing. I always leave feeling so much more connected and in tune with my body 🙂 love love love it.

After yoga I promptly had my post workout snack the rest of my lunch, and read some blogs.

Before I knew it, I was off to therapy. Which went well, I would explain if I had more time, but basically he was able to clear some things up for me, and helped me to see the positives of the situation, rather than focus on the negatives. [such as having proper time to get better, spend more time with my brother who will be in the city this year etc.]

I needed some more comfort food, and what better than a little cocoa:
DSC01755

Liberte Vanilla Yogurt and a cocoa mint jocolat larabar.

This is the only jocalat flavour I have tried, and I love it so much that I have yet to tear myself away from it to try the other flavours. Some day..some day..

I crumbeled it into the yogurt, and it was loverrrlyy.

After this snack, I finished up my blog entry, and got myself ready for my friends BBQ, only to get a call from her saying it was no longer a BBQ (due to some rain), just a party, and I should get myself over there just a litttlee later.

I was all dolled up with no where to go (yet)
So I just pranced around the house for a bit, and then made myself this dinner (BBQ inspired):
DSC01758 Chicken burger on a whole wheat pita, with melty cheddar cheese, mustard and ketchup.

Steamed veggies, kashi crackers and a laughing cow cheese wedge.

After one bite, I felt the burger needed some more pizzazz, so I put the LC wedge on the burger, and put that baby on the panini, again. Problem solved. This burger deserved prizes.

Photo credits go to mom, who remembered for me to snap a photo 😉

Then I was off to the BBQ. It was really fun, saw some friends, met some new people, had a drink, and felt a little more normal again. It made me realise how much we neeed interaction to be healthy. Just being with other people, and being out of the house made me feel so much more at ease with myself, and with the wholes situation. (though it did suck when people from other schools started talking about how stoked they were to come visit us at our house next year..but im keeping my hopes up! I will be there at some point!)

I headed home sometime after midnight, kinda early, but peoples had work, so it wasn’t an all night raging vibe anyway, gotta save some energy for the weekend 😉

Once home I was ready for some sleep, and tucked myself right into bed.

Well girlies, as always here is yesterdays sweet concontion:
DSC01759
Cookies n Cream Ice Cream, some skor bites, the rest of my clif bar (I didnt forget 🙂 ) and some chocolate milk

I am off to sushi with the fam, we’re gonna try and just put all this drama aside for a night, and just enjoy some time together.

Then tomorrow morning I have the weigh in with my dietitan! Hoping for the best!

Have a lovely night girlies!!
xx

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Bad News…

Well it’s Hump Day!

And unfortunatley I’m in a little bit of a slump (hah, witty)
Last night my parents went out to dinner together, and when they got back I could tell something was wrong. My dad didnt talk to me, or look me in the eye, and my mom was being SUPER nice. Too Nice.

About an hour later, I got to talking to my mom. And..it wasn’t good. It turned out that over dinner my dad told her that he had e-mailed my school, and my landlord (I was renting a house with 4 other girls next year) and told both that I would not be returning for school and asked for instructions on how to delay my courses/rent.  

At first I couldn’t speak. I literally had no words. This was something my dad had been kind of threatening if my weight didn’t go up more, soon. But it was something he was going to talk to me about first. And then he just did it anyway. I felt betrayed.

I have been working so hard, and going back to school has been my main motivation, and now it seems that has all gone away. 

I know my housemates are going to be annoyed because now they have to find someone else to take the room, and I know that everyone at school is going to know why I am not there. I know they are going to be talking about how I couldnt come back because I was still sick. And whats worse, and what is scaring me right now, is that while the first few months people will notice I’m not there, soon they will get used to not having me around, and maybe soon I won’t be missed. And even if I do get to go back next fall, I feel like it will all be so different. I will be a year behind everyone else, and everyone will know why I had to take a year off. I feel so ashamed. and gosh, girls, I just feel so sad. 

A part of me feels all my hard work has gone to waste. But the deepest part of me knows that is wrong. The progress I have made still counts. And I need to hold onto that right now, and not go the other direction, because really that won’t make things any better. I am going to keep gaining, and keep moving forward. The sooner my weight goes up, the sooner I can get back to LIFE!

Who knows, maybe I can go back in January, and only be half a term behind.

Its just so frustrating to me because I haven’t been weighed since I started this new meal plan last week. I may very well have gained, and my dad is just assuming the worst!!!

I’m seeing my therapist today, and maybe he will be able to help me sort through this. But yeah, I’m not feeling so fantastic right now. 

My best friends having a BBQ tonight, so I’m hoping that will lift my spirits a little. It will be nice to see friends, and get away from the parents and “reality” of it all for a bit.

“ahh yesterday…all my troubles seemed so far awayyyy..”

Breakfast:
Photo 62Egg McMuffin:
1 egg scrambled, 1 laughing cow wedge on an english muffin, panini’d to perfection.
1 banana sliced up, and some unpictured Java.

I was gonna have the blueberry yogurt, but was feeling kind of full, so decided to have some dairy lataaaa.

After Breakfast, my mom invited me on an outing to Ikea, and I happily obliged. Being Swedish, Ikea is the closest thing we have to our Scandinavian roots here in Canada, and so we pay them a patriotic visit from time to time 🙂 
One of my favourite things about Ikea, are their Swedish Meatballs,
 my oh myy, I used to always get the managers special portion (oh you know the one, with like 20 meatballs!?) which I would have done the yesterday had I not just eaten my lovely breakfast sandwich. We did however walk by the Ikea cafe, where I saw this somewhat shocking poster.
DSC01725

A whole breakfast like that for ONE DOLLA!?

Is anyone else concerned with what the food is made of when they sell it for a single buck?

Crazy ikea corporation swedish folk.

 

After roaming around Ikea for a bit, we didn’t find much of anything, so we decided to just head home, but we did manage to pick up some daim mini bites (ahhhmazzzinngg chocolate, I can only ever find them  in Ikea) I was stoked.

Once we got home, I got to snackin’
DSC01729
Creamy Vanilla Yogurt and a crumbeled up Fruit n Fibre Bar. Yum Yum Yum.

While eating, I did my blogging for the day, and some facebook chattin/creepin. 

Then me and my mom realised that the Micheal Jackson Memorial was on TV! 

We watched for a bit, pretty huge event eh? I thought it was pretty well done, and nice that his life could be celebrated like that. I do have to say though, that I find it hard to forget that he may or may not have violated some young kids…so I still feel kind of iffy about the guy. 😦

Some time later lunch was eaten, but i guess I was pretty hungry, cause I totally forgot to take a picture!! It was pretty standard though, turkey, laughing cow cheese, tomato and mustard on a whole wheat pita, with some apple slices, kashi crackers 1tbsp cream cheese aaaand some lovely mango orange juice. Yum. 
 
After lunch my brother got home from work and suggested we go for a bike ride (which I made sure was quick and light no worries 😉 )

We just biked around my neighbourhood and it was really nice to be out of the house in the nice weather, and doing a bit of exercise!! I definetley noticed that my muscles were a little weaker from not having exercised in soooooo long. But I understand that my body needs a rest, and I’m happy to give it them time it needs. I’m just looking forward to building up that strength again some day 🙂

After the bike ride I was feeling kind of  peckish (sp?) 

DSC01732

Banana and Butter on a slice of ezekial toast, which I paired with a tropical cottage cheese, and a Strawberry Boost.

Jenna left me a comment the other day saying that Strawberry was the best Boost flavour, so I made sure to pick some up, and my oh my was she ever right. It was delisshh!!

Sometime after this snack my parents got back from dinner, and thats when the day took a pretty sharp turn from fine to terrible. My mom, seeing I was upset took me out for a bit, which was nice. I definetley did not want to be in the house with my dad at that point.

A part of me does think that a year off would be good for me, to give me time to truly get completly better. But I wish it could have been MY decision, not my Dad’s. Its my life, and right now it doesn’t seem I have much say in it 😦

I needed some cheering up, so I treated myself to a dinner fit for a King Queen.

DSC01742

The lightings a little off, but this beauty was a Salmon Burger Pattie, brushed with maple teriyaki sauce (from the barefoot contessa, love that biddy) brown rice, spinach and steamed veggies accompanied by a laughing cow cheese wedge, apple slices, and some almond milk 🙂
This was super yummy, satisfying and filling. It was also a step in the right direction. 

Not going back to school is a bit of a set back, but Im not going to give up now on getting better. I am NEVER going to go back to restricting. 

Cause (and the wit continues) it has really only restricted my freedom in life!!

The Cherry on Top:

DSC01746 

Deep chocolate vitamuffin top, with vanilla pudding, chocolate milk, aaaannnnddd a couple daim bites. (yum!)

 

 
Well I am off to get myself ready for some BBQ action, I just got back from my therapist, and shiz was good, but I’ll leave that for another post, cause this one is LLOOONNNGGG.

Love you all! Stay Strong!! I know I’m gonna try!
xx

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Boost Induced

Friday is here, the sun is out, and I am feeling fine 🙂

I am really enjoying this blogging dealy so far, feels kind of good to be able to get all my thoughts out on “paper” haha
I also really appreciate all the comments from you girls, reminding me of what a welcoming and loving community the blogging world is. 

Thursday started out like any other, I got up, and dragged my half awake self down to the kitchen, only to discover we were missing quite a few food staples, breads, fruits, MILK!? 

So off me and my mom went to the grocery store.

I think its kind of weird how much I like grocery shopping, and this is something I have noticed on the blogs of other girls as well. But I could honestly spend hours in a grocery store..i think its fun! weird? maybe, but whatevaa 🙂 And it drives my mom crazy cause she just kinda wants to get what we need and bounce, whereas I go up and down the aisles, looking for new things to try, or finding some favourite items. Yesterday was no different, and we had quite the haul of items, no picture though girlies, sorry.

By the time we got home, I was hunngggrryyy. So i made myself this lovely breakie:
IMG_0275IMG_0276 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 eggo fibre plus blueberry waffles, with 1/2 banana, 1 container cottage cheese, and some java.

Probably one of my favourite breakfasts, but I try and keep it to once a week though, so I don’t ever get sick of it. 😉

After breakfast I wrote up my blog entry, read some of your lovely posts, and then me, my mom and my brother decided we should go do something. Though it took us forever to get out of the house, around 12 we headed out for a starbucks run, I made sure to grab myself a granola bar to enjoy along side the coffee on the way out.. IMG_0277

 

Double tall soy latte, and a sunshine valley banana nut granola bar. Love these granola bars. 

We strolled around town for a bit, looked at some design stores, and then ended up in Sleep Country Canada, where I may or may not have napped on one of the many mattresses…haha

 

 

Then we headed back home where I made myself some lunch:

IMG_0279Brown rice wrap with turkey, mozzarella, mustard and spinach, panini’d as always. 

With some carrots (way more than pictured) 1/2 a golden delicious apple, 10 kashi TLC crackers (with 1 tbsp salmon cream cheese for dipage) and some so nice mango juice.

yum yum yum.

My brother saw my lunch, and promptly made himself a wrap as well. I think it was his first time having a wrap, and damnn, he loved it. He kept on going on about how great wraps are cause you can fill them with anything you want!! And while I agree, I reminded him that the same concept applied to normal sandwiches. He was blinded by the greatness of the wrap, how can I blame him?

After lunch I kind of just chilled around the house, went to staples with my dad, bought some office supplies, chilled some more. And after all that chilling and lazing, you know I needed some snackage if I was ever going to have enough energy to chill more:
IMG_0282

Banana Cookie LaraBar, 1/2 normal, 1/2 crumbeled over some raspberry yogurt.  

I am really influencing my brothers diet, as soon as he saw the LaraBar, he said he wanted one too! He enjoyed the Pecan Pie LaraBar. And he is now also a LaraBar convert.

Wraps, larabars…he may soon start blogging my friends.

About one hour later my fam decided to BBQ some lamb burgers. Unfortunatley I was not quite hungry yet. So I just sat outside with them and enjoyed the weather and company. About an hour and a half later, I did begin to feel some hunger, and the lamb burgers inspired me to do some burger action of my own:

IMG_0283IMG_0284

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Methinks my foodie pictures are improving yes? 

Sol Veggie Burger on a whole wheat hamburger bun, with a slice of melty processed cheese, tomato slices, ketchup and mustard, all panini’d (yes I even panini my burgers…its a problem) and some baby carrots, kashi TLC crackers (can’t get enough of these) and some banana to spread on the crackers.
(Banana and TLC crackers together taste like mini banana bread, try it ouuut)
The lot was washed down with my lemon lime gatorade of the day.  

The fam and I were gonna go out and see a movie, but we made the mistake of turning on CNN where we found the Larry King Live at Neverland Ranch…and we all kind of couldn’t stop watching. I still can’t fully beleive that Micheal Jackson is dead, he just always seemed like one of those icons who could never die you know?
Speaking of last nights Larry King, did anyone else see that video of MJ’s 2nd last rehearsal!? He was looking pretty good! Its a shame the world won’t get to see his final tour, I’m sure it would have been pretty epic!
After Larry King, we decided to rent The Pink Panther 2, too make up for the missed movie outing . Just as we were about to watch it, i realised I hadn’t had my supplement!! 

IMG_0287 It was reccomended to me back in January that I start using Boost, but back then I was no where near as ready to get better as I am now. Back then I saw Boost as some evil concotion made to make me gain weight. So i resisted and refused to try it. Then on monday when my new dietitan recommended it to me, I didn’t feel the urge to fight it anymore. 

Now I won’t lie, I was super nervous to try it. A part of me just wanted to skip it, but I’m tired of cheating myself, and I was way to full to have a clif instead (though I love them dearly) So i poured the boost in a glass and went for it, and you know what. It tasted damn good. I really enjoyed the boost, so drinking one of these a day? or having a clif? Noooo problemo. 🙂

I enjoyed the boost, and I enjoyed the movie. Goofy and off the wall, exactly the type of movie the fam was in the mood for. After the movie, I went on a nice midnight stroll with my brother. Something I love about the summer is that its still so warm at night! 

So all in all a lovely lovely Thursday. Friday promises to be quite good too, some shopping with brother downtown, maybe actually getting oursleves to a movie tonight? we shall see…I am dying to see My Sisters Keeper, everyone keeps writing about how great it is. We’ll see if I can convince my mom to go with me. 

And then Saturday I am off to a friends cottage for 2 days, very excited to get some sun, some brewski, and be with my girls! The girls I’m going with are my best friends, and we have all known each other since grade one! So I may not post till Sunday, but we’ll see 😉

IMG_0288Well I’m gonna call this a post, but I’ll leave you all with last nights dessert. (The best course, yes? youuubetcha.)

Bad lighting I know, but this lovely mix is 2 mini chocolate chip cookies with some breyers cookies n cream ice cream. And that box like dealy you see next to it, is some chocolate milk. yummmers.

 

Hope you all have a fabulous friday!

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Yummmers

Hellllooooooooo!
First real post, here we go 🙂

Yesterday started out really well.

I woke up nice and early, and decided to fix myself a breakfast I love, but also fear a bit at the same time.
Theres no picture, but I made a peanut butter banana pita panini, with some vanilla yogurt with berries and coffee on tha sidde. While I absolutely love this breakfast I tend to stray away from it, because the calorie density of the peanut butter scares me sometime. But NO MORE! Its delicious, I like it, and whooo givess a whatsit about calories yeah?

I have made the decision that this week I am going to have a TBSP of peanut butter at least every other day, and try and rid myself of this irrational fear. Should be a yummy week 🙂

After breakfast I watched some Ellen Degeners with my moms, then cleaned my room a bit..and before I knew it, it was snack time

am snack

Peach Mango Yogurt Drink, English Muffin with butter and the rest of my breakfast banana.

I wish I could say I did more in the morning, but I really just hung around with my mom, which was actually kind of nice. But I definetley think I need to get myself a hobby or something to do during the day. All my friends have summer jobs, which means most of my weekdays are pretty uneventful..maybe art classes? we’ll see

By around 1:30, I realized I hadn’t had lunch, and had to be at yoga in less than an hour! So I quickly whipped up and chowed down on the following:

DSC01668

Turkey, mozzarella and mustard on a brown rice wrap, panini’d, with some baby carrots, 1/2 a golden delicious apple, and Kashi TLC crackers. All washed down with some mango juice.

Then I was off to yoga! I really love my yoga sessions, which is weird because I tried yoga two years ago and absolutely hated it. But ever since starting these private lessons back in April, I have come to really love, and even look forward to my one hour yoga sessions.

As soon as yoga was done I was straight off to my therapist session (bad scheduling on my part :p )

Therapy went pretty well, we talked a lot about how I need to let my friends in more. While I have always been realllllyyy open with my closest friends, it seems that when it comes to my ED, we have all kinda silently decided not to talk about it, except for the odd mention here and there. Rightfully so, my therapist said this wasn’t healthy for my friendships, and that I should be more open about it, especially since my friends probablly have questions they don’t feel comfertable asking etc. I do feel that a distance has been created by this ED between me and my friends, and I really don’t want that to continue. My friends mean the world too me, and I just need to remind them of that this week 🙂

By the time I got home, it had been a while since lunch and I was sttaarrvvingg.

DSC01673

Cashew Cookie LaraBar (lovelovelove) and an Adina Indian Iced Chai Latte that I picked up from whole foods. I love these Iced Lattes, they add a little snaazz to my afternoon milk serving 🙂

After my snack, me and my dad went on a nice long walk around my area, just talking and enjoying the weather. We also called my brother, who is arriving today from Iceland (my country of origin yeaah buddy) to come live with us for a year. Im really excited to have him here for the year, and hey! he’s someone to hang out with during the week!! (but still..art classes..maybe?)

When we got home, my dad had already eaten about 3 of my Luna Bars and was not feeling up to dinner, so I made myself something I had been ccrraavving:

ddiinnnerrTuna Casserole! …kinda.. haha

It was 1 cup of brown rice pasta with tuna, and then 1 laughing cow cheese wedge (can’t get enough of these) melted in, and for extra cheesyness, a slice of mozzarella melted on top and then mixed in. My side dish included 1/2 an english muffin with the rest of my LC wedge, and tuna spread on it, 1/2 a golden delicious, baby carrots, and some gatorade (gotta have at least one of these a day for the electrolytes apparently..anyone else have to include elctrolytes?)

I enjoyed my dinner while watching a documentary with my dad, Jesus Camp, has anyone seen this!? I won’t ruin it for all of you, but this movie is craazzy good. Although I myself am not religious, I do think its great when people have a faith they are dedicated to, but when it goes to such extremes as it does in this documentary, it can be a scary thing.

wooo, this post is getting tooo long, so I’ll just finish off with my desert and call it a day:

DSC01677

A crumbeled nature valley maple brown sugar bar, with some Breyers cookies and cream ice cream. A lil choco milk on da siddee.

Alright, well first post done. That was fun 🙂

I promise I will work on shortening things and taking more appealing pictures.

Hope you all have a lovely wednesday, and for those of you in Canada with mee

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!

xo

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized