Tag Archives: Weight Gain

One Long Weekend

Happy Civic Holiday!

I’m not sure if this is also in the states, but in Canada, its a civic holiday today, so its a looong weekend 🙂 

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting too regularly, things have just been super busy. I have been spending lots of time with family, and friends, wich is exactlly what I have been needing. The meal plan has been going well mostly, though I think the change is still affecting me a bit 😉

In all the craziness, I have been able to photograph most of my eats, so hows about a quick weekend recap yes?

Friday

Breakfast:
IMG_0352 

Whole wheat pita stuffed with 1 scrambled egg, diced tomato and 1 slice melty cheddar cheese. With some sliced apple and ketchup on the side 🙂

 

Lunch:
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Black Forrest Ham, laughing cow cheese, tomato and dijon mustard on 2 slices rye bread.
Carrots and Orange Mango Juice on the side. 
 

 

As you may notice, there is a lot of salt on top of the sandwich and on the side. I know its not good for me, but I use A LOT of salt. At almost every meal. I kinda just feel like food is tasteless without a good salting.

Is there a condiment/topping you guys use a lot (or maybe too much) of? Any other salters out there?

After this lunch I headed down to a historic district in my city with my mom. Its an old brewery, and many of the old buildings have been converted into new stores and restaurants. Its a great place to go on a sunny day, when you just wanna browse and be in a nice atomosphere. After some browsing, momma started getting hungry for some lunch, so we sat down at one of the restaurants there: 

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Mommas Lunch: House baguette with white bean hummus

After her lunch, we walked around the area a bit more which is when I saw this amazingness:

Mona Lisa made of Rubix CubesIMG_0354

That takes some skill! There was a whole series of pictures like this, as well as an Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe.

I can barely solve a rubix cube, let alone use them to recreate art!!

 

When I got home this snack was throughly enjoyed:
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Quaker Brown Sugar Cinnamon oatmeal with 1 sliced banana and a tbsp of Dark Chocolate Dreams. Vanilla Boost too. 🙂

 This snack gave me all the fuel I needed to write that loooonnnggg post, and do some blog reading.

At around 9, I headed out to Sushi with my brother! Yay!!

We tried out a new sushi place close to the theatre we were going too. I won’t lie, the sushi place was a little sketch, it was empty, it smelled a little bad, but we were in neeed of some sushi, so we decided to take our chances. 

 I had some miso soup and a california roll.  And actually it tasted pretty damn good. Will we go there again? no, were we well fed? yes!

So then we were off to the movies where we saw “Moon”

 Its a somewhat odd sci-fi movie with the guy Drew Barrymore hooks up with in Charlie’s Angels, haha. I am usually not one for sci-fi movies, or movies about space. But oddly enough I really liked it! Its definetley not a movie that will cheer you up, its one of those movies that makes you realise that things kind of suck, haha, but a good quality film nonetheless.

While in the theatre I had an Envirokidz Peanut Butter Bar

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This was my attempt to get in both my 3 choice evening snack and high energy serving. I decided I would have this granola bar in the theatre, and then have my high energy at home, along with my chocolate milk, which I would usually have had with this bar. 

The plan went swimmingly and this was consumed when I got home:
IMG_0358 

 

Mini So Delicious Ice Cream Sammie, with vanilla pudding, and chocolate milk. oohh and a caramilk chocolate square as well. 

It had been way to long since my last caramilk. I have a whole bag of these mini bites, so I think I will be adding them to my high energies now and again, just for that added yumminess. 🙂

Saturday

Breakfast:
IMG_0359

 

Banana Bonanza: Thomas Multigrain English Muffin with 1 tbsp Maranatha Peanut Butter, 1 tbsp strawberry cream cheese and a huuugggee sliced banana. Java alongside.

As you can guess from the name of my blog, this breakfast was kind of a dream come true.

Lunch:

IMG_03612 slices pumpernickel bread with 2 slices Black Forrest Ham, laughing cow cheese wedge, tomato slices, and dijon mustard. Panini grilled, and then dipped in 1 tbsp ketchup on the side. As well as a sliced green apple and some unpictured orange mango juice.

After this lunch, I went downtown with my brother, where we browsed some shops and checked out an up and coming area in my city, that has a really artsy alternative vibe. The weather was fantastic, and it was really refreshing to explore a new part of the city.

Even more refreshing was this snack:
IMG_0363

Strawberry fro-yo with blueberries

This was something my dietician had asked me to do, have a snack out. And while my anxiety level was a bit high right before, as soon as I had the first bite that all melted away. This was absolutley delicious. My brother got one as well. And about 20 minutes later, he got a second one!!

Needless to say, we have planned for many more fro-yo outings. 

After all our walking and exploring downtown, me and my brother wanted to just stay in and take it easy. We also got lazy with dinner preparation, both of us turned to Amy’s Products to save the day. 

My brother heated up Amy’s Margherita Pizza, which he said was deeelish.

Whereas I heated up an old favourite:

 Photo 93

Amy’s Black Bean Burrito with laughing cow cheese, steamed veggies and an orange mango juice. Ketchup for some dip-age to.

Then some dessert:
Photo 96

 

 Strawberry Yogurt and some Annie’s Honey Graham Bunnies, as well as the Boost I missed earlier in the day when I was downtown. 

After all this chow, me and my brother settled our stomachs while watching an old 80’s comedy called “Spies Like Us” with Dan Akroyd and Chevy Chase. I laughed myself silly, it was a great movie. There are so many great old movies you never think to watch, just cause there is always something new to see, but every once in a while, its nice to watch some classics. 

Then it was time for my evening snack:
Photo 97

Cashew Cookie LaraBar and Soy Milk (which I frothed afterwards, mmm like a latte minus the coffee) Twas the perfect evening pre-bed snack.

I am thinking about talking with my dietician about moving the high energy to maybe after lunch or something, because I am finding it a bit overwhelming to have it after dinner, as well as an evening snack. But then again that may just be because my dinners always end up being so late, anyway we will see what happens with that 🙂

Sunday:

I slept in quite a bit, I guess I had been somewhat lacking in sleeping hours, so feeling well rested, I made an Adventurous breakfast:
IMG_0365 

I had allowed myself to become scared of pancakes for some ridiculous reason, and on Sunday, I decided the only way to shatter that fear, would be to enjoy some pancakes.

 Aunt Jemima’s Buttermilk Pancakes with 1 sliced banana, 100g vanilla yogurt and some java.

Ain’t it pretty? And it was super yummy! I am defintley no longer afraid of pancakes. In fact after breakfast I began thinking up new ways to try the pancake. Maybe by making banana pancakes, and instead of two small ones, make one big one?

Mmm, excited to try those soooooon.

If you girls are holding back from trying something new, or having something you are wanting, because you are scared. Try and Just do it! 

I promise the scariest moment is always in the 20 seconds before you do it, and then I PROMISE all that anxiety will melt away as you allow yourself to enjoy something your brain had convinced you you weren’t allowed to enjoy 😉

After breakfast, my bestie called me and asked if she could come over and chill a bit before her shift, and I told the biddy to head on over.

It was really nice to see her again, and just catch up on the weekends activities. I unfortunately did not see much of her on the weekend, cause the girlie has started a new job, that includes a lot more weekend hours. boooo. 

After some catching up, we headed out to a health food store near my house, where the girl picked up some cleanse pills, while I grabbed some much needed Luna Bars, LaraBars, and more mini So Delicious Ice Cream Sammies.

Once we got back to my house, she found out that one of her friends was able to cover her shift, so she could have the day off! Weee!! To celebrate we made some lunch:
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2 slices pumpernickel bread with 2 slices deli chicken breast, laughing cow cheese, tomato slices, dijon mustard, baby carrots, ketchup and salt salt salt salt salt. 

 This has become my go to sandwich as of late, its just so yummy and filling, I can’t bring myself to change it up. My friend had pretty much the same thing, except in an ezekial wrap. 

Excited by her sudden freedom we brainstormed on things to do. A few ideas were tossed around, including a trip to Costco. 

 However, we decided to go for a short trip to the park to swing on the kiddie swings, before heading to a day showing of “The Ugly Truth”

(I go to a lot of movies eh?)

 I actually really liked it! I laughed really hard, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. 

 

So to review:

1. “Moon” – good to go see if you are feeling deep and in need of some confusion

2. “Spies Like Us” – a great 80’s comedy classic

3. “The Ugly Truth” – Really perfect chick flick, go see it with some of your best girlies, and it will be a good time 🙂
 

After the movie, me and the bestie parted ways, as I had to head home have a snack and get myself ready to go out for a reunion dinner with some friends. You see one of my friends moved to the other side of Canada for school, and ended up staying out there for the summer. So yesterday she came back, after 8 months of being away!! Needless to say, I was really exicted to see the girl.

Snack:
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Repeat picture 🙂
Whole Wheat Bread with laughing cow cheese, tomato slices and a Vanilla Boost

This was delicious as always, and served as the perfect appetizer for the dinner I was off to. 

I was so happy to see my friend again, 8 months is way to long to not see or talk to a friend. She looked really good, and happy and it was great to all catch up over a great meal. 

We went to a great thai place in the heart of the clubbing district.  

I ordered the Teriyaki Glazed Grilled Salmon with Rice and Steamed Veggies. I also had a glass of chardonnay, and a beer back at my friends house 🙂

No pictures girls, sorry! But It was delicious. When Dessert time came around I had promised myself I would order dessert, and challenge myself with that! But alas, I freaked myself out a bit, and ended up not ordering anything. I was kind of upset with myself, but you can’t win em’ all. I have just decided that because of that little slip up, the next time I am out to dinner, I will order a dessert, and enjoy it! Cause if the pancakes were any indicator, food is never something to be feared!!

To make up for the missed dessert and such I tucked into this snack when I got home:
  chocolate_peanutbutterchocolate-milk

Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch Clif and some Chocolate Milk (which tasted as decadent as that picture looks) 

All in all it was a great weekend. I was able to go to sushi with my brother, and stick to the meal plan, I was able to spend some time with my best friend, and go to dinner with an old friend and stick to the plan then as well.

I hope all your weekends were relaxing and enjoyable. I can’t wait to read up on them and comment away 🙂

Also, thank you all for your kind comments on my last post. I loved each and every one, and its definetley nice to know I am not alone in struggling with a few things. Lets all just try our best to not be so hard on ourselves, allow ourselves to enjoy the little joys in life, and not let silly anxieties hold us back! 

Hope you all have a great start to the week!!
xx

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A little less conversation..

Happy Tuesday 🙂

Hope all your weeks got off to a great start!! Mine was very nice. Yesterday was my first day to myself in a while (I love my cousin, but sometimes a girl just needs some time on her lonesome 🙂 ) And I just enjoyed the lack of company a bit. But cha know whhaatt? I also forgot to blog!! So hows about a two day re-cap yes?

Sunday was a really lovely, really lazy day.

I started with a lovely breakfast staple:

IMG_0276Eggo FibrePlus Blueberry Waffles topped with banana and tropical cottage cheese. Enjoyed with a nice tall cup of Java.

It was my cousins last full day visiting, so I had thought that we would try and do lots on the last day, (ya know, to end the trip with a BANG.) But alas, there was lots of rain outside, and my cousin was a little exhausted from the gay clubbing the night before. So instead we spent the day just chilling at home, watching some chick flicks (“Blast from the Past”, “Two Weeks Notice”) and just enjoying eachothers company 🙂

After soo much lounging, you all know I needed some snackage to get me through it:

DSC01944

Vanilla Yogurt with 1/2 cup kashi puffed cereal and a sprinkling of All Bran Buds

Ohh it was yummy. And the perfect sized morning snack 🙂

Staying in also meant I finally had time to do some blogging, which was great. 🙂 I managed to keep the blog a secret for the whole of my cousins visit (snneaaakkyy), though he did stumble upon some food pictures, and seemed a little confused, but he didn’t bother asking. I assume he figured it had something to do with my recovery or something 😉

The stomach started rumbling, so some lunch was made and eaten:
DSC01945

Whole wheat pita with ham, mozzarella, tomato slices and dijon mustard.
Along with some Kashi TLC Crackers, apple slices, baby carrots and some unpictured orange mango juice.

After seeing me eat these for a week, my cousin decided he wanted to try making one. Half way through his mozzarella turkey melt, he went off to Subway for a 12″ BMT. I guess once you find something you like, you stick with it yeah?

Which is why I will be sticking close by my Panini grill 🙂

As I told you all, we had planned on hosting a potluck dinner that night. But the combination of the rain, and the fact that Sunday usually ends up being hangover-city for my friends, not as many people were able to attend as we had expected. So we decided to just continue down the same lazy path for the day and cancel the potluck. While my cousin was bummed to not be able to say bye to everyone properly, some girls dropped by to say bye throughout the evening, and others sent their goodbyes to him in texts 🙂 He was feeling the love.

Some time later more snack-age happened:

DSC01926(Repeat picture, sorry guys!!)

Vanilla Boost, 1/2 english muffin with laughing cow cheese and diced tomato

This is quickly becoming a favourite snack. Quick and absolutely delicious!

Because it was my cousins last night, and there was no potluck dinner going down, we decided to go out for dinner. So me, my mom, my dad, my cousin and another guest we had visiting from Sweden (we really were a full house last week) went to dinner at an Italian place downtown.

I didn’t bring my camera, as I was more focused on celebrating my cousins visit, but picture this dinnaaahh:

whole wheat bread slice with butter, 1 tomato slice with boccocini as an appetizer (we were sharing) and as a main I had a grilled salmon fillet, with some type of butter sauce, boiled potatoes and green beans.

Now to be truthful, the butter sauce did freak me out a bit. Although I include fats in all my meals (butter, olive oil etc) this uncontrolled, unknown amount of melted butter poured over my fillet caused some panic. I tried my best to just enjoy the added flavour, and not let the “calories” hinder my meal. It was tough, but I did my best.

When these situations arise, I try to just think “how would a normal person react to this situation?” In this case, they would probably just indulge in the great flavours of this dish, they would maybe even dip some of the fish in the extra butter sauce on the plate!! So should I be scared or nervous? No!!

After dinner we headed back home, and spent the rest of the evening on the back porch, telling jokes and recapping his trip. It was a really lovely end to a lazy day 🙂

This made the day even sweeter:

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Mini So Delicious Neapolitan Ice cream Sandwich (these are sooo good, my gosh!) with some vanilla pudding and chocolate milk 😉

I am definetley planning on trying more of the So Delicious coconut milk ice cream products, cause this one, wins lots and lots of prizes in my books.

Then Came Monday:

I woke up bright and early (around 6:30) to get my cousin up, and ready to head to the airport. I made him a nice goodbye breakfast on the go, egg mcmuffin, with 1 scrambled egg, 1 slice mozzarella and keettcchup, with a sliced green apple on the side.

For my breakie: I made a whole wheat pita with 1 tbsp peanut butter and a whole naner sliced up. I put that baby in the panini grill, then wrapped it in some paper towel and enjoyed it on the car ride to the airport. Yummmy on the go 🙂 No photo though, sorry girls!!

So my cousin set off for Iceland well fed, and with little issue at the airport. I was really sad to see him go. We had quite a fun 2 weeks, but at the same time I think we were both ready for a bit of a break. There is only so much time you can spend with someone before they start to drive you a little crazy, and 12 days was the perfect dosage, not too much and not too little 🙂

It also was not too hard to say bye to him, because I am headed to Iceland for 6 days next week 🙂 I have already been once this summer for about 2 weeks. But this time we are going to a family reunion thats going down at the beginning of August. Hence I will be reunited with my cousin in no time. 😉

After dropping my cousin off at the airport, me and the momma drove around the city a bit, she stopped off at Starbucks and picked up a nonfat iced latte and a feta spinach wrap for herself. Mommas review? Latte was delicious, feta wrap was…suspicious…
She ended up giving up on the wrap about half way through.

I didn’t have anything, cause I had this lovely snack waiting for me at home:
Photo 60

Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif and 1% Milk

This is becoming one of my favourite flavours. Its up there with the maple nut clif. I have yet to try the white chocolate macadamia nut clif which I am sure could probably trump both from what I hear. Some day..some dayy..

After some more lounging with my momma I made a yuuummmyyy lunch:

IMG_0341Two slices rye bread with ham, melty cheddar cheese, tomato slices and dijon mustard – panini grilled. Along with some apple slices, baby carrots, Kashi TLC Crackers which were dipped in 1 tbsp salmon cream cheese (see it there?? in the corner, you see it? yum.) all washed down with some orange mango juice.

I had not had rye bread in sooooooo long, so I was stoked when we picked some up at the store the other day.  It had been too long friends, too long. It was an absolutely delicious sandwich. The bread was so soft, and yet crispy at the same time from the panini grilling. Perfection.

As I said, I decided to just enjoy some time on my own, and spent the rest of the day watching sit coms with my momma, checking facebook, walking around my neighbourhood etc. It was a lovely, and exactlly what I needed yesterday – being that it was the first day to myself in a while. So I am sorry for the lack of posting yesterday, I was just so busy indulging in my solitude. :p

I also indulged in this snack:
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Tropical Cottage Cheese, with 1/3 cup of all bran buds.
I was also unable to finish all of my clif bar in the morning (was a little full), so I crumbled what was left of it into the cottage cheese as well, and as a cherry on top?
A peanut butter puffin. Yumms. Washed down with some vanilla soy milk.

This snack was delicious! Definetley a repeat sometime soon, but probably better to have it when dinner is far off, cause the protein from the cottage cheese and the clif made me stuufffeeeddd.
But ya’ll know that didn’t stop me from going out for some lovely sushi with the family 🙂

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while can probably guess what I got, is it lame I always order the same thing? Probably yes. But its just so gosh darn goooooood.

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Seaweed salad and a california roll (heart, love, kisses, hugs)

After dinner me and the fam headed over to the movies to see “500 days of Summer”

I loved this movie!! It was romantic, funny, sad, artistic, all wrapped up into one. Also the music in it was soo great. I will for suree be picking up the soundtrack sometime sooon. The fam loved it too, so girlies, if your looking for a film for ce soir? this is thee one 🙂

After the movie, me, my mom and my brother decided to walk home (about 10 minutes) cause the summer night weather was too good to pass up.

All in all it was another lovely day (hope this pattern continues 😉 ), and it was great to spend some quality time with the fam after the constant craziness of my cousins visit.

Alright well this post is long long long, so I’m gonna end it here. I have lots to tell you guys from happenings today, but I’ll save them goodies for tomorrows post!

Ooops, EDIT:
Now how could I have forgotten to include last night dessert?

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Mini Vanilla Chocolate Hagen Dazs Bar with Chocolate Milk

My oh my, it had been toooooo long since my last hagen dazs. I found mini versions in the store the other day and was sooo stoked. I could have my hagen daz fill, without actually becoming too full! win win win.

Love, as always
xx

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Twas A Crazy Fortnight

Ok, so NOW I am back to normal blogging.. 😉

I am so sorry for my absence!! Although things have been a little less crazy these past few days, I still haven’t been able to find the time to sit down and blog till now. I have been reading up on you girls though, and will do some proper commenting later 🙂

So, I think we may have overwhelmed my cousin the first week with all the things we did, cause these past few days when I ask him what he wants to do the answer is usually along the lines of:

“stay in and take it easy”

So these past few days we have mostly just bummed around the house while he plays with his new MacBook, except for the occasional trip downtown to do some shop browsing. I did not mind the reduced activity at all – I think I also needed a bit of a break from hosting and sightseeing myself. 😉

Here are the few photographed eats from the past few days:
DSC01916Mocha Boost.
This came in a variety pack, so there was only one. I hope they start making 6 packs of this though cause it was yummmeehh!

DSC01926Snack: English muffin with laughin’ cow cheese, and diced tomato. Some vanilla Boost alongside.
DSC01919A lovely dessert: Aero Caramel Bar and Chocolate Milk

We did have quite the crazy weekend though. On friday we hosted a pre drink at my house which was lots of fun! All the girls came as well as some guy friends from school. My cousin was soooo intrigued by “flip cup” and amazed at how much alcohol we all consume in such a short period of time. My cousin, you see, is from Iceland. And all his friends there are a bit older 25-30ish. So when they drink, its a lot, but slowly over time. Whereas here, I guess we feel we don’t have time to drink slowly, hence we all down the liquor to get to the bar quicker (hah, that rhymed.)

By the time everyone was ready to head out, me, my cousin and some other girls were more in the mood to just stay home, drink some more, and girl talk. It was a good end to the night.

I ended up not getting to bed til about 3 friday night, resulting in quite a lovely sleep in 🙂

I woke up saturday, around 11, and knew exactlly what I needed to cure my throbbing head:

DSC01940 Oatmeal bagel, butter, sliced banana, later topped with some tropical cottage chesse.

It tasted even better than it looks, and did the trick!!

Waking up so late did require some maneuvering with eating times. I was having my breakfast at a time I would usually be having my morning snack. This is something that 3 weeks ago would have really bothered me and freaked me out, but somehow I was ok with it. I could adjust the times a little bit, and just fit in a little more food into one snack to make up for the missed morning one. Problem solved 🙂

Still feeling the effects of the night before, me and my cousin continued bumming around the house, watching movies, checking facebook, all that good lazy stuff. Around 2, we decided to walk out to my neighbourhood starbucks. Which ended up being a little less than pleasant, as we were attacked with a sudden heavy (and I mean HEAVY) rain storm.
Needless to say we were soaked by the time we got to Starbucks, and even more in need of a hot drink than before.
I enjoyed the usual double tall soy latte, while my cousin got his starbucks order, tall vanilla latte. They don’t have Starbucks in Iceland, and he has loved being able to go so often, and to have his usual order.

Momma was nice enough to save us from the rain, and drove to pick us up. By the time we got back,it was 3 and I figured it would be a good time for lunch 🙂
IMG_0337

Open faced english muffin sandwich with ham, laughing cow cheese and dijon mustard. With the ususal sides of carrots, apple slices, and some orange mango juice

This was deeeelish. More open faced sandwiches will be eaten by me in the next few days. But first wraps! Its been about a week since I have had a proper melty wrap and I am fiending for onee!!!

As the rain continued, we felt even more bummy, and spent the afternoon looking up funny cat videos on youtube. Goodtimes

At around 7 I tucked into this lovely snack DSC01943:

Chocolate Boost and a Nutz Over Chocolate Luna Bar

Around the time I ate this snack, the weather was clearing up, and my brother suggested going to a street jazz festival that was happening downtown. While this sounded fun, it also made me super anxious. All of a sudden I had thoughts of skipping my snack, saving my Boost till after dinner, so that if it was something super unplanned and substantial I could skip the Boost and make it OK.

I quickly snapped out of it, remembering that skipping the boost would only be cheating myself and why not just get it overwith. I repeated the words of my dietician in my head “there is no reason for you to ever miss the supplement, unless you are stranded on a boost-less, clif-less island” and that was certainly not where I was..

So I had the Boost and Luna, and it felt fine (and tasted fantastic!!) I left the situation feeling stronger, and better for having overcome and challenged those irrational thoughts.

Feeling empowered, I headed to the street jazz festival with my brother, his friend and my cousin. It was lots of fun! We strolled the street, grabbed some grub (mr. sub….any guesses on who suggested that?), then went to a bar, where I had some chardonnay.
Weird Mix? Yes. Delicious? Yes yes yes.
mrsub2

white-wine-glassAt around 11 o clock, I got a text from my friend saying he was going to a Gay Club downtown, and wanted to know if me and my cousin were up to it. My cousin is gay, and he had been talking about wanting to see the gay area and scene in Toronto, so away we went. 🙂

One issue was that going out meant that I might miss my high energy snack (that lovely dessert that you girls see at the end of all my posts) which I knew would be a bad idea calorie wise, especially if I was going to be dancing lots into the night. So to make sure I got in those delicious calories, I grabbed a Banana Cookie LaraBar out of my bag, and nibbled away on our way to the club. And even better? I wasn’t embarrased to eat it in front of my cousin!! I felt totally fine, and I was not in the least bit ashamed. I was doing what I knew was best for me, and he supports me in that!
larabar

After waiting in line for about an hour we got in, and it was crrraaazzzyyy fun. The club was packed, and pumping with awesome clubbing music (techno, lady gaga, obvi some Madonna) My cousin loved it (though he did have to say that Icelandic Gay Clubs were maybe a little better) and as a result we didn’t head home until about 3 am. My cousin picked up some pizza, I got some chocolate milk, and we strolled home  gossiping about all the cute boys in the club, and one in particular who had an eye on my cousin 😉

All in all it was a great weekend, and it doesn’t end there! Tonight I am hosting a potluck dinner as a going away party for my cousin who leaves tomorrow!! 😦 It will be sad, but a great way to conclude his trip, with some good eats and good friends 🙂

His visit has been amazing, fun, terrifying, challenging, frustrating, exhilirating, all at once. There were times it was great, and times it was tough, but at the end of it all I got to spend 2 solid weeks with one of my best friends, and he was able to push me outside of my comfort zone and push me further in my road to recovery. I already feel so much more like a ‘normal’ eater compared to 2 weeks ago. Given, I still have a lot of food issues and anxieties I need to tackle, and my weight still needs to go up up up, but good progress has been made, and I am stoked about that.

So lets call this my official return to blogging yes? I’ll post much more regularly, and comment lots lots lots. I’ve missed it!
So I hope you all are well, and that you have enjoyed these past few summer weeks to the upmost, I know I have 😉

Lots and lots of love,
xx

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Oh Blog, where art thou?

Hello, and Happy Tuesday!!

Life has been pretty hectic lately as ya’ll know with the cousin visiting, but I have finally found me some time to do some proper posting.
I am MIA no mo’ 🙂

So yesterday I took my cousin to a theme park called Canada’s Wonderland. It was loootsss of fun. We went on the biggest rides, all day. And by the end my body was so shaken up, I didnt know what was up, down, left, right. It was cah-raazzaayy. We may or may not be going again later this week 😉

There was a slight incident though. Knowing I was going to be at the park ALL DAY I packed some very necessary snacks with me including Boost, Luna Bars, Fruit Snacks etc, to make sure I wouldnt be behind on servings. Well we get to the park, and immediately I am told to throw out all food (they know how to keep makin dolla dolla)

At first (and I know this is ridiculous) I wanted to cry. I felt stranded, I was in this park all day, without my ususal staples, and thought I would end the day SERIOUSLY behind in servings.

The first hour or so, I acted fine, but was freeaakking out inside, telling myself I was screwed, I would have to cram food in later, there was nothing to eat in the park but candy and burgers blah blah blah. When we finally got on the first ride I was stoked to have some serious distraction from my thoughts. The ride worked amazingly well in calming me down. As I was flying through the air on that ride, everything I was worrying about seemed kinda…stupid. The ride LITERALLY shook the worries out of me. I got off the ride, took a look around me and thought:

“all these people couldn’t bring their food in, and they are not freaking out. Why Can’t I just eat like everyone else? Whats the big deal? So what if I have to have the Boost when I get home, so what if I can’t have the exact granola bar I want, is this irrational? YES!

While I was still anxious, I felt more at ease with the situation and ready to just enjoy the day with my cousin on some craazzyy rides. And you know what ladies? Things worked out fine! 20 minutes later, we passsed by a snack stall stocked with Kashi granola bars and Nutrigrain products. (Don’t ya’ll love how healthy-er food is becoming more in demand?) I was also able to grab a Mr. Sub for lunch, while my cousin chowed down on two slices of Pizza. (My 5th sub in 5 days? yes. My cousin loves subs, so most of his requested meals are just that. I was getting tired of it, but for some reason by the time lunch rolled around, I was like “mmm sub.” …I have been brainwashed…subwashed..?

While the change in plan was hard, it was a great lesson. You can’t always get what you want. And once I am off this meal plan, and back to normal eating, I won’t have to worry about servings goals etc, and sometimes my eats will be unplanned and unexpected, and if I want to get better, I have to accept that!! All in all it was a great day, and a great lesson.

(and it didnt hurt that the kashi peanut butter bar I got at the park was deeeeelish) 😉

Here are some of the eats I managed to stealthily photograph over the past few days (blog is still a secret, schwing!):

IMG_0322Maple Nut Clif Bar and a Double Tall Soy Latte

DSC01855English muffin, half plain with just naner slices and butta. The other half with DCD and banana, panini’d together. The banana was so large, I still had LOTS of slices left over to enjoy on da side with my Cup o Joe.

DSC01857Strawberry Cottage Cheese with All Bran, and a snaaazy spoon. Oooooo Bendy.

IMG_0330Ezekial Bread with buttah, laughing cow cheese and tomato slices, Vanilla Boost 🙂
Photo 62Salmon burger with brown rice, carrots, apple slices, and juice. The burger was topped with some maple teriyaki sauce and laughing cow cheese.
Weird?
Yes. Yum? Most def.
Photo 64Choco Overload:
Mini So Delicious Ice Cream sammie with Chocolate Pudding, Whopper Chocolate Balls and some chocolate milk. 🙂

Well there you have it. Things have been going pretty well, and I am feeling pretty good. My cousin is here for another week, so it should be just as crazy as this one has been, though I kinda have a handle on it now, and think I can do a bit more posting.

Alright well I am off to do a movie marathon with my cousin, (4 in one night, yeaah buddy) I am sending you all lots of love and left over popcorn!!
xx

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Full House

Well ladies, its hump day again 🙂

These summer weeks are just flying by eh? I can’t beleive its already mid-July!!

So this hump day, I am in much less of a slump than the last one 🙂 My cousin arrived from Iceland last night! He is one of my best friends, and I am so stoked to have him here for 2 weeks! We have lots of fun stuff planned, shopping, sight seeing, baseball games, clubbing 😉 I cannot remember the last time my house was this full! Between January and April it was just me and my dad, but then my mom came back from Iceland, then my brother, and now my cousin. Full House 🙂

While my cousin knows everything that is going on with me, and that I am on a food schedule etc, I’m not gonna make him eat at my house all the time while he is on vacation! This means we will be taking him to restaurants and having some unplanned eats, but I will try the best I can to just be flexible. I’m also a little embarrassed about having to eat so often in front of him (6 times a day), but thats something I just have to get over if he is going to be here for 2 weeks. In reality, its nothing to be embarrased about! I’m trying to get better, and food is my (delicious) medicine! I am sure he will understand 🙂

Im gonna try my best to keep posting, but I may not be able to some days just cause things wills probably be a little hectic. Also, Im not telling my cousin about the blog, so food photo taking will have to be stealthy haha. I will for sure keep checking all your blogs though, no doubt about that!

Alright, on to some eats, all of these are from Monday 🙂
Breakfast:
DSC01816 Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal, with 1/2 english muffin, topped with 1 tbsp DCD and sliced banana. 

Please ignore the splenda pack, I caved a little. Had half of it on the english muffin, and then realisedits tastes kinda bad!

 
I beleive my days of splenda loving are over!  
Can I get an aaaaaamen!?

That breakie kept me quite full for a few hours, but low and behold, a snack was consumed around 12:
DSC01817

Strawberry Cottage Cheese, All Bran Buds, and some mo’ Java.

Just as I was finishing my snack, my mom said she was heading off to yoga. I asked if I could tag along, and she was ddooowwwn. 

It was my first time doing a normal class in about 2 years (I usually have private sessions, with the same teacher) and it was really fun! The stuff they were doing was a little more intense than what I do, but I just did what I could, and when the poses got too hard, I just chilled in childs pose. 🙂 It was fun!

After yoga we headed home, where I made some much needed lunch:
DSC01822DSC01826 

 

 

 

 

 

Brown Rice wrap with 2 slices turkey, melty mozzarella, tomato, lettuce and mustard. Apple slices, baby carrots, kashi crackers and some mango orange juice on the side. This was delicious, as always.

However, I do think that my lunches need a little more variety. Its always a similar sandwich with the same sides, and frankly, I am getting a little bored. Maybe a falafel one day? or a PB+J? 🙂 we will see what I come up with..

After lunch I did a little blogging and commenting, followed by a walk around the neighbourhood with my mom, cause on such a beaaauty of a day, its a shame to be inside for all of it!

When I got home from the walk, it was snack time once again:
DSC01829 

Vanilla yogurt with a crumbled up fruit n fibre bar (love em high fructose corn syrups…for some reason in Canada its labelled as glucose-fructose..odd yes?) and a strawberry boost. 

 

This was delicious and not too filling, which was key cause momma was cookin’ up a storm in the kitchen, and this time I got a picture of the magical result.

This is probably one of my favourite dinners of all time:
DSC01836 

Salmon poached in lemon juice and white wine, steamed veggies, brown rice, laughing cow for added flava on the veg, and some apple slices for dessert. Washed down with some vanilla soy milk 🙂

This was sooo good. I used to make this all the time, but for some reason had stopped making it. And ever since my mom made this on Friday night, I have been talking about how delicious it was, so she felt a repeat was in order. I wasn’t gonna argue 🙂

After dinner we all just lounged around the house. I also got to talking to one of my best friends who is spending the year in London, England. She has had such an incredible time. She got herself a job doing lighting for play productions there, and has since been asked by bands to do lighting for their gigs, and by event promoters to do lighting for their club events. preeeettyy snazzzy. The girl is finally returning to Canada in August, and I could not be happier. Though Im sure she would much rather just stay in England (can you really blame her?) 

Somethin’ Sweet:

DSC01845 Deep chocolate vitamffin with a kids vanilla fudge sundae cup, and some chocolate milk 🙂

 This was not the best ice cream I have ever had, so instead of eating it separate, I kinda melted it into the muffin, and it turned into a kind of chocolate mush. All I can say is YUM! 

In other news, I saw my dietitian yesterday and had a weigh in. She said my food records looked good, and that I was still doing really well. Only issue being that my gains are still not quite as good as they should be. For example I only gained 0.5 pound this time. So we agreed that I should try my best to get in every single serving (some days I miss one to two), and always get the supplement in, and see where that takes me. I’m gonna try my best to do that,so that I can keep seeing good results! This makes it all the more important for me to just stick to the meal plan, regardless of what my cousin may think of all the food I’m eating [too be honest, in all likelihood, he probably won’t even think about it, its prob just my ED being like: BE EMBARRASED! Lame ED…lame lame lame.]

Also, over the past few days I have gotten some e-mails from girls reading the blog, which has been really nice 🙂 Thank you for your e-mails!!

I just wanted to say that if anyone has any questions, or just wants to talk, I love getting e-mails, so do no hesitate to contact me 🙂 Also thank you all for reading my ramblings, its so great to know that some of you find it helpful, and I am really loving the blogging community 🙂

So as I said, I will try my best to keep posting, but there may be a few days here and there when I am a little less active than usual.

Hope you all have a great hump day! 
xx

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Fantastish!

Good Morning and Happy Sunday!

I hope you all had a great and relaxing weekend! I’m sorry about my lack of posting yesterday, I let myself take the day and just recover from friday night.

Friday was really great! It started with a friend coming over some pre drinks, we caught up and split a bottle of Riesling. 🙂 It was really nice to just kick back and enjoy some time with a friend. While it was hard for me at first to not think about the calories in the wine, it became easier to ignore that negative voice with each glass (not surprisingly 😉 ) Feeling a little buzzed we headed out to the bar where the party was. The birthday girl was well drunk, and we all had a great time.

I saw a lot of people who hadn’t seen me in a long time. One of my closest friends had just gotten back from a trip to Europe, and hadn’t seen me since I was at my lowest weight. When she saw me, she teared up a bit, and said I was looking so much better, and was looking a little bit more like my old self. 🙂

It was the best I have felt in a long time. The thought that I could look good has been far from my mind for months, so when people told me I did, it was hard for me to beleive it at first. But then I decided to take the compliment, and feel good about myself.

I had a great time, and left the night with many new plans to meet friends in the next week. Let it be a lesson: that even taking one step out of your shell can be a great leap forward!!

Saturday morning, was not as bad as expected! My head was throbbing a little 😉 but for the most part I was fine. I spent the morning watching trash TV with my mom (amazing hangover cure) but after a few hours we needed to get out of the house. So me, mom and my dad headed downtown and just enjoyed the weather and the bustle of the city. At around 5 I got a text from my friend inviting me to go see Bruno with a group of them.

My immediate reaction? I wanna go, but it interrupts my food schedule, so no.

Then I asked myself, would I really rather spend the night alone and stick exactlly to the food schedule or adjust the timing a little and be with my friends?

I adjusted and went! 🙂

I had an early dinner before the movie, and decided I could have the afternoon snack then instead after the movie. While it was a little anxiety provoking for me, I dealt with it, and got to see my girlies, and quite a hilarious movie.

My thoughts on Bruno? Shocking, but pretty funny 🙂 (My post title is from da film)
Compared with Borat, it was not as funny, but I still laughed quite a lot, and have never said “oh my god” so many times in one sitting, haha. I’m so happy I saw this with friends, and not my parents!! haha

So all in all a great weekend, I felt pretty free from the grips of my eating disorder, and that felt great! Friends are much better company than the ED voice.

So I didn’t photograph all my eats these past two days, but I did photograph some so here they are 🙂

Friday’s Breakfast:
DSC01780

Oatmeal bagel with butter, slicd banana, tropical cottage cheese (yum) and some coffee.

This was a great breakfast, super yummy and filling. It fueled me through the whole morning 🙂 Which included a starbucks run, an eyebrow wax, and general pampering for the evening ahead.


Friday’s Lunch:

DSC01784


Whole Wheat Pita with turkey, laughing cow and mustard
, with the usual sides of course.

Looks yummy? yessssss.

Mid Afternoon Fuel:
I was going to skip this snack, because of the calories I was going to be taking in in the alcohol. But then I reminded myself, normal people do not limit their food intake before they drink, so why should I? Hence the thumbs up, it was a snack in the right direction 🙂
Photo 67Smores Luna Bar

Also a quick picture of my new stunnaaaa shades I told ya’ll about. [excuse me pops in the background]

Photo 69

I wish I had a photo of Friday nights dinner, it was beeaauuutiful. My mom poached some salmon in white wine and lemon juice, and also grilled some asparagus and made a gorgeous salad. It was a classy start to my messy night.

Saturday mornings breakfast was eaten half conciously, hence no photogrpah, but I had some maple oatmeal with 1/2 an english muffin spread with 1 tbsp DCD, and banana-nananana.

Morning Snack looked a little something like this:
dsc01729 A repeat picture? me? never!

…or maybe just this once 🙂

Creamy Vanilla Yogurt, all bran, and just imagine some nanner slices on top.

Ain’t no such thang as too much potassium..i hope.

Lunch was the usual shebang, except a tuna melt! yummmers.
Then I read all your lovely blogs, and pondered doing an entry myself…but then we were off to the downtown, hence no postings 🙂

Before ish dashed off for some super fantastish movie watchings, Bruno, I made this lovely dinner, inspired by a few blogs I like reading:
Photo 72Sol Veggie Burger with mozzarella and ketchup on a whole wheat tortilla, panini’d and pressed. This was DELISH! Burgers on wraps, whodathunkit? But it was awesome, and definetley something I will repeat. I paired it with some steamed veggies, baby carrots, and my lemon lime gatorade.

xtra ketchup obvi on the side 🙂

I packed some kashi crackers along for the movie, and brought along my boost hoping I could have it during the movie, I ended up just having a fresh cold one when I got home instead.

np_chocoAlong with my Boost, I tried a new bar, similar to a LaraBar. It was a Nature Paths Organic Pure Fruit and Nut Bar – Chocolada Walnut flavour. I saw these in the store the other day and decided to be adventurous. It was vveeerrryyyy goood. Although nothing can take the place of larabars in my heart, these are quite similar, delicious, and come in many other flavours. Click here, for more info 🙂

Alright well I am off to enjoy the weather with the fam, we’re doing some gardening apparently. 🙂 Hope you all have a relaxing sunday, and I will be back to regular posting tomorrow.

But before ya’all dash off, make sure to check out Jaime’s fearless and fabulous GIVEAWAY 🙂 looks fantastic, yes?

Lots of love,
xx

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Look on the bright side

Hello hello hello

This is going to be a quick post because I am on my way out with the fam, but things are OK.

I’m still super bummed, but I talked with my dad, and he was up for the idea of me going back in January, and just about an hour ago, my mom suggested me going to school, but just taking a lighter course load, and coming home every weekend. So I hoooopping that will be the case. Going back at all would be fantastic! So I am keeping my hopes and my head up 🙂

Yesterday was tough, but I got through it, stuck to the plan, and I felt good by the end of the day, and had enjoyed quite a few lovely eats.

Breakfast:
DSC01751
To begin bringing me out of my slump, I had a breakfast favourite. 😉

2 eggo apple cinnamon fibre plus waffles, 1 banana, cottage cheese and some coffee.

I loveeedd these waffles, it was my first time trying that flavour, and they were yummmyy, and definetley helped put a bit of a smile on my face 🙂

I talked some things over with my dad and mom, and it was a little intense. So after that, my mom and I took a stroll to the neighbouthood starbucks, to blow off some steam, with some steamy drinks:
DSC01752

Double shot tall soy latte, and a chocolate chip peanut crunch clif bar.

I had this flavour before, and it was just as good this time around.
But nothing beats the maple nut. 🙂

I only had about half the bar, cause this girl was a little stuffed. I just planned to finish it later.

After this we went grocery shopping (as you notice, my mom was trying her best to cheer me up) and we got some very necessary grub which included la tortilla wraps, kashi crackers, turkey, apples, peanut butter puffins, some more clif bars and some juuiiice.

With my shiny new wraps I whipped up this DSC01753lunch:
Tortilla with lemon pepper tuna, laughing cow cheese and tomato slices {panini times} along with baby carrots, apple slices, and some pomegranate blueberry juice.

I was only able to eat half of this before I had to run out the door for my yoga session.

Yoga was the usual, super nice and relaxing. I always leave feeling so much more connected and in tune with my body 🙂 love love love it.

After yoga I promptly had my post workout snack the rest of my lunch, and read some blogs.

Before I knew it, I was off to therapy. Which went well, I would explain if I had more time, but basically he was able to clear some things up for me, and helped me to see the positives of the situation, rather than focus on the negatives. [such as having proper time to get better, spend more time with my brother who will be in the city this year etc.]

I needed some more comfort food, and what better than a little cocoa:
DSC01755

Liberte Vanilla Yogurt and a cocoa mint jocolat larabar.

This is the only jocalat flavour I have tried, and I love it so much that I have yet to tear myself away from it to try the other flavours. Some day..some day..

I crumbeled it into the yogurt, and it was loverrrlyy.

After this snack, I finished up my blog entry, and got myself ready for my friends BBQ, only to get a call from her saying it was no longer a BBQ (due to some rain), just a party, and I should get myself over there just a litttlee later.

I was all dolled up with no where to go (yet)
So I just pranced around the house for a bit, and then made myself this dinner (BBQ inspired):
DSC01758 Chicken burger on a whole wheat pita, with melty cheddar cheese, mustard and ketchup.

Steamed veggies, kashi crackers and a laughing cow cheese wedge.

After one bite, I felt the burger needed some more pizzazz, so I put the LC wedge on the burger, and put that baby on the panini, again. Problem solved. This burger deserved prizes.

Photo credits go to mom, who remembered for me to snap a photo 😉

Then I was off to the BBQ. It was really fun, saw some friends, met some new people, had a drink, and felt a little more normal again. It made me realise how much we neeed interaction to be healthy. Just being with other people, and being out of the house made me feel so much more at ease with myself, and with the wholes situation. (though it did suck when people from other schools started talking about how stoked they were to come visit us at our house next year..but im keeping my hopes up! I will be there at some point!)

I headed home sometime after midnight, kinda early, but peoples had work, so it wasn’t an all night raging vibe anyway, gotta save some energy for the weekend 😉

Once home I was ready for some sleep, and tucked myself right into bed.

Well girlies, as always here is yesterdays sweet concontion:
DSC01759
Cookies n Cream Ice Cream, some skor bites, the rest of my clif bar (I didnt forget 🙂 ) and some chocolate milk

I am off to sushi with the fam, we’re gonna try and just put all this drama aside for a night, and just enjoy some time together.

Then tomorrow morning I have the weigh in with my dietitan! Hoping for the best!

Have a lovely night girlies!!
xx

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